My brother, you call maths sorcery? To me was like Chinese language, my education background was very rough, I really feel what you are feelings and I was once like that before. Getting to the stage of adulthood things will be little different no matter how you choose to be lonely, some people will love to talk to and they will understand you for who you are. Totally some of this experience is like you carry a whole burden of life on your shoulder like no one to share them with. But let's be grateful to God we survive.