There is a version of something from my past where i was clearly wronged. The details are clear to me. What happened, what it cost, what i deserved and did not receive. In that story i am the injured party without much complexity in how the roles are distributed.
There is another version of something from my past where i am not the injured party. Where the injury went the other direction. Where someone else carries a memory of something i did that sits in them somewhere the way my memories of being wronged sit in me.
Both of these are true simultaneously about the same person, which is me.
This is one of the things about being human that the stories we tell about ourselves tend to flatten. In each specific situation the distinction between who caused harm and who received it is real and worth being clear about. But across a life, across all the situations and relationships and chapters, almost nobody is only one of those things.
The person who was genuinely hurt in one chapter was also capable of genuinely hurting in another. The one who needed more honesty was also capable of dishonesty when it served them. The one who deserved better treatment was also capable of treating someone poorly when they were operating from their worst self.
Holding the full picture of yourself honestly is not the same as self punishment or as refusing to acknowledge when you were genuinely wronged. Both things can be true. You can carry the injury and also carry the honest knowledge that you have been on the other side.
That complexity does not make you a bad person. It makes you a human one. The full accounting is just more honest than the version where you are always the same role.
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