There was a period where i went to several different people with the same situation, presenting it differently each time, angling the information until someone gave me the answer i was looking for. Not consciously. I genuinely believed i was seeking perspective. But looking back i was seeking permission for what i had already decided, and i kept asking until someone gave it.
Most of us already know the thing we are avoiding. The job is draining and it is not going to improve. The relationship ran its course two years ago. The habit is hurting you. The path you are on is not actually yours.
We know these things. The body knows them first actually, before the mind catches up. The low energy on sunday nights. The tightening in the chest at certain thoughts. The relief you feel when imagining a different option that you quickly talk yourself out of entertaining seriously.
The mind is very good at arguing with what the body already knows. Building cases for staying, for waiting, for giving it more time, for finding another angle to try first. And we help it do that by seeking advice until we find the version that confirms what we want to be true.
What i have learned to do, imperfectly and inconsistently, is to sit quietly with the thing i am avoiding knowing and ask what i would tell someone i loved if they came to me with exactly this situation. That removes the self interest from the equation for a moment. And the answer that comes up in that quiet is usually the one i already had but did not want to be responsible for acting on.
You probably already know. You may not want to know that you know. That is human and understandable and not something to judge yourself for.
But the knowing does not go away just because you keep not listening to it.
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