SOMETIMES, ALLOW FACTS TO CORRECT YOU INSTEAD OF ALLOWING GUILT TO CONFUSE YOU.

I learned this lesson the hard way.

Guilt is a very loud emotion.
It shouts.
It accuses.
It makes you feel like the worst person on earth.
Facts, on the other hand, whisper.
Facts are calm.
Facts don't insult you, they just show you what happened.

But most of us listen to the loud one.

Listen, let me explain.

A few years ago, I made a mistake that hurt someone close to me. I didn't do it intentionally.
It was a decision I thought was right at that time.

But after it happened, guilt took over.
Guilt told me that I am bad person.
Guilt told me that I will never be good enough.
Guilt told me that I should just withdraw from everyone.

I started avoiding people.
I stopped writing.
I stopped going out.
Not because of what I did, but because of what guilt said that I am.

It was later, when I sat down and looked at the facts, that I got my peace back.

The facts were.

• I made a wrong decision, yes and I accepted it.
• My intention was not evil.
• The person was hurt, but is now okay.
• I have apologized.
• I can learn and do better.

See,
Facts corrected me.
Guilt wanted to confuse me and finish me.

Why is this matters in our everyday online life.

This happens a lot on the internet too and I have written about it before that when the internet becomes judge, jury and executioner, it runs on guilt and emotion, not facts.
Someone makes a mistake, and the whole internet says cancel him.
He is evil.
No one checks facts.
Everyone is driven by guilt and outrage.

I have seen people lose their mental health because of this. They read one negative comment about their post on hive or facebook, and guilt tells them that your writing is useless.
They forget the fact that many people upvoted and learned from it.

We do it in our relationships too.

You had a car crash like I did?
Guilt tells you that you will never drive again, you are a bad driver.
Fact says you were in an accident, you were a passenger, you survived, you can learn.

You are struggling with money and guilt tells you that you are a failure, your mates are building houses and then fact says you are in a process.
You have reasons to have enough money, but you are still growing.
Your timeline is different.

You grew up in a village where people live in peace?
Guilt tells you city life must be toxic forever. Fact says peace is a choice you can create anywhere.

This is how to let facts correct you.

1- write the facts down.
Not how you feel but what actually happened?
Separate feeling from fact.

• Ask is guilt talking, or truth talking?
  Guilt always generalizes that you always mess up.
  You are never good.
  But
  Facts are specific you messed up in this area, on this day.

• Allow correction, not condemnation.
  Fact says correct this while guilt says condemn yourself.
  God, life, and growth corrects and only guilt condemns.

• Take action based on facts, not fear.
  If facts say you need to apologize, apologize.
  If facts say you need to learn driving, go to driving school. If facts say you need to visit your village and rest go.
  Don't sit in guilt.

I am writing this because I know many of us on Ecency are hard on ourselves. We want to be perfect adults, perfect writers, perfect Christians, perfect villagers in the city.

But sometimes you will fail.
Sometimes you will not know how to drive. Sometimes you will mess up.

When that happens, don't let guilt confuse you and keep you in a dark room.

Let facts correct you, lift you, and push you to the next level.

Guilt confuses.
Facts correct.
Choose facts.

Have you ever allowed guilt to confuse you when facts were trying to correct you? Share your story. Let's learn.