You will agree that we have all seen it.
A man with PhD who cannot say I'm sorry.
A woman with first class who insults a waiter because he was two minutes late.
A professor who shouts at his wife in public.
A graduate who cannot stand in a queue without fighting.
And then we have seen the opposite.
A bus driver who says sorry sir even when he is right.
A market woman with no formal education who settles fight between two customers with wisdom.
An old gateman with primary six who greets everyone with respect and calm.
So what is the difference?
One has education.
The other has maturity.
And when it comes to being civil, maturity wins every time.
Education teaches what to say and maturity will tell you what to say.
School will teach you grammar, formulas, history, science. It will teach you how to pass exams.
But maturity teaches you how to pass life.
Maturity teaches you that you don't have to win every argument.
That you don't have to reply every insult.
That you don't have to prove you are smarter than everyone in the room.
A mature person knows when to keep quiet. An educated but immature person will talk until he destroys everything.
Education can give you a certificate but only maturity can give you character.
I have met many educated fools.
They know how to quote Shakespeare but they don't know how to control anger.
They know how to solve mathematics but they don't know how to solve misunderstanding with their own brother.
They have big degrees but small emotional control.
Being civil is not about how many books you have read. It's about how well you can manage yourself.
Civility is,
- Saying thank you even when it's your right.
- Saying please even when you have power.
- Apologizing even when pride says don't.
- Respecting people who can do nothing for you.
No university teaches that.
Life teaches that.
Experience teaches that.
Maturity teaches that.
Reasons why maturity matters more.
Maturity controls temper.
Education says you have the right to be angry. Maturity says you have the power to stay calm.Maturity respects all people.
An immature educated person only respects people with money, title, or fine clothes. A mature person respects the cleaner and the CEO the same way.Maturity understands timing.
You can be right at the wrong time and become wrong. Maturity knows when to speak, when to wait, and when to walk away.Maturity does not seek revenge.
Education will give you many reasons why you should revenge. Maturity will give you one reason why you should forgive.
Many of our problems are not because people lack education.
It is because people lack maturity.
We have educated leaders who cannot behave civilly in public office.
We have educated youths who cannot disagree without insulting.
We have educated couples who cannot settle small issues without breaking plates.
We don't need more degrees.
We need more maturity in the society.
So work on yourself.
Read books, yes.
Get degrees, yes.
Learn skills, yes.
But also learn patience.
Learn self-control.
Learn empathy.
Learn to listen.
Learn to be calm when others are shouting.
Because at the end of the day, people will not remember your certificates.
They will remember how you made them feel.
And how you make people feel is not a function of your education.
It is a function of your maturity.
Be educated.
But more importantly, be mature.
Be civil.