Speelgoedmuseum - Oosterhout

Now, let me show you a temple. A temple that, for some of you - especially us parents... might feel like a nightmare. And for those who've watched too many horror movies, like me, haha. You probably remember classics like "Child’s Play", "Annabelle", and "The Silence". What do they have in common with this museum, you ask? Think about it. Porcelain, big eyes, plastic, and the horror and nightmares that come when you see them. You imagine their heads turning or their eyes following you everywhere. Pretty terrifying, especially late at night in the dark. Just thinking about it gives me chills. Now, picture an entire museum filled with dolls.

Okay, not just dolls, since this is a museum of toys and carnival history. A place of eternal and immortal fun for children but also the personal army of Freddy Krueger. After visiting, you’ll definitely be spending more on therapy than on toys. If this was "Toy Story", these dolls would not be your friendly Woody and Buzz Lightyear. More like Chucky and his long-lost cousin. The museum is a mix of beauty and nightmares - porcelain dolls, plastic dinosaurs, entire carnival models, and hidden rooms where, if your child enters... No, no, don’t think the worst. Rooms where, if you leave your kid, you might finally get a little rest, haha. That wasn’t the museum’s original purpose, of course, but I’m sure the creators enjoyed a bit of peace when they brought their own children here. In reality, the museum was founded with the noble goal of preserving the history of toys. A cultural center reminding collectors, tourists, and nostalgic souls what kids did before Minecraft, Fortnite... are these still a thing? - and social media. Back when children in toy stores didn’t beg for the latest video game but for beautifully decorated porcelain dolls, medieval-style carts, and vintage bicycles.

Dolls that introduced kids to the magical world of imaginary friends, early signs of psychosis, and antisocial tea parties. Even if they weren’t British. We all had that one toy that just felt... cursed. The one that always ended up at the bottom of the toy box, only to mysteriously reappear when you least expected it. And, of course, the evolution of toys. Speaking of which, I keep thinking about LEGO. Sorry, my son constantly asks for LEGO, haha. I’m starting to dream about it. But this museum’s collection is different. It spans everything from antique wooden toys, so old they could have been played with by actual dinosaurs, to modern porcelain and plastic masterpieces that prove nostalgia sells better than any social media ad. Here’s a tip: buy everything new that comes out now. In a few decades, it could be worth a fortune. Just check online how much antique porcelain dolls and vintage toys cost. And don’t even get me started on comic books. Among the museum’s most prized exhibits are 19th-century dolls, crafted with such precision that some of them look like actual embalmed people. Good luck trying to sleep after that. The dim lighting in the museum only enhances this effect.

Then there are the mechanical trains from the early 20th century... still functional if you can find someone old enough to remember how to wind them up. They also bring back memories of Christmas mornings, when toy trains circled the tree, and parents tried not to step on them. If they did, kids learned some very interesting new words. And let’s not forget the tin toys from the ’50s and ’60s... beautiful but a reminder of an era when child safety wasn’t exactly a top priority. There are also board games, once the peak of entertainment... from classic "Monopoly" editions with money that actually looked like real cash to strategy games with instructions so complex even adults would give up by page three. Speaking of "Monopoly", this reminds me of the amazing horror movie "The Heretic", where the antagonist explains the complexity of religion using "Monopoly". Deep stuff. And then there are the hidden corners of the museum, the ones where you swear you saw something move. But it’s just your imagination... right? Ah, and how could I forget the puppets? Yes, the slightly terrifying marionettes that make you wonder if they’ll start moving on their own. Some of them are old enough to have performed in actual 19th-century street shows, and if you listen closely, you might still hear the echoes of laughter... or was that something else?

Of course, as adults, we are completely rational and not scared of toys. We just... prefer to keep that one creepy doll in the attic. Far, far away. And let’s talk about the automata... these eerie mechanical dolls dressed in tiny period costumes, moving with unsettling precision, playing miniature instruments or writing tiny letters with tiny quills. It’s all fun and games until one of them blinks at you. Of course, like any museum, this one offers educational programs where kids can learn what playing was like before electronics. Meanwhile, adults are reminded of how massive the toy industry was and how our childhood toys were much better and more educational than modern ones. Back then, kids burned off energy by jumping rope and playing hide-and-seek, instead of smashing tablets in rage when the WiFi cuts out. Ah, those were the days, haha. So, what was your childhood favorite? Or the one toy that still haunts you in your dreams? "Wanna Play?" Don’t worry, you’re among friends here, haha. We understand.

Let our children not grow up in a terrible world. Together we can make it better. It is our destiny to
suffer from the past, to long for the future, but to forget the present.
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