Dating, as a single parent, can be a scary concept. The scene as we know it has drastically changed over time and depending on the circumstances that led one to become a single parent can ultimately dictate how we navigate these new waters.
On the one hand, these little creatures have become our night and day, and the ones we have completely consumed ourselves with for possibly years on end. Then, on the other hand, we know that we long for the compassion and true connection we would like to have. I mean don't we want our miniature selves to see us happy? And show them what it means to be happy? Unfortunately, sometimes these thoughts become very conflicting and confusing in our heads.
Then, inevitably, comes the waterfall of questions we begin to run through; Does this make me selfish for longing for this sort of feeling? Are you supposed to truly put all of your feelings on the back burner? If I were to meet someone, when is the right time to introduce my child to this new person? How do I even meet someone new now?
All great questions to consider when placing yourself back in the dating scene. Let's take a look at a few of these questions and how a gentleman navigates them. The do’s and don’ts of dating as a single parent, if you will, and how being in a healthy and happy relationship can be a great thing for our kid(s).
Is Deciding to Date Selfish:
Now I have to be completely honest here, this was my biggest hurdle when considering to date or not. There were many times I thought that if I were to show someone else affection, then my little human would think that I don't care for him anymore. Likewise, this may also be the same paradigm you struggle with. While this is completely normal, in short, the answer to this fearfully leading question is... No. It is not completely selfish on your end to decide to get back out in the big blue ocean full of fish. By having the ability to show someone else compassion, and hopefully love, then you will show your child what a healthy relationship looks like. This goes for both mom and dad! Just make sure you only expose them to healthy relationships.
Our Children are Watching:
This one may seem as though it is a bit counter intuitive, but let's consider it deeply for a moment. Growing up, as children, we observed our parents in their relationships. We molded opinions based on those observations, and thus project these notions on any possible relationship. Because of this, it is only wise to think that our tiny humans are doing the same thing as we once did with our parents. So why not put those great qualities on display when they are taking in queues from us on what a healthy relationship should look like?
Rules of Dating with Children:
When it has come to dating, I have personally always had a rather conservative approach. I like to personally feel connected to my new lady friend and ensure this is something serious before the introduction. Now some may feel that the proper way is to introduce early on to get it all on the table. Good, bad, or indifferent, I'm sure both avenues produce their respective results. Do what is best for you and your child, and the new female being suited. If I may offer a guiding principle, for what it's worth; the last thing you want your little one to see is lady friend after lady friend coming and going.
How to meet Someone New:
In the new Digital Age, it is become more widely accepted to meet your next romantic journey online. With that said, call me old-fashioned, but I have never ventured to any of these sites as I like to meet my potential companion in the traditional sense. I mean, how can you beat that third grade feeling of the rush of butterflies when you see that beautiful woman across the room? While it may be easier to sit behind our keyboards, out of fear of rejection, let's show these women the real gentlemen they are looking for.
Thanks for tuning in today, and that's your Daily Dose of Dapperness!
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