Prisoner of the Past

When our memories outweigh our dreams, we have grown old. - Bill Clinton

So, another week ended. When I try to remember what happened throughout this week, I am not getting anything! Yes, there is nothing mentionable in the last week. Except.....

I had an interesting one-sided conversation the last day with a stranger while going to work on public transport. A man aged around 60 caught my eyes.

The bus was not crowded like usual. This man changed several seats and finally sat beside me. He initiated the conversation. First he talked about the politics, political systems of the country. I replied with short words. I has the listener for the most parts.

So, then he told, he was associates with student politics. It was good to see he was truthful about the wrong-doings of his political party. But these were not the things that interested me.

He then told, he was a self-made man. His S.S.C and H.S.C results were brilliant. He started tutoring to earn pocket money.

He was to me a man, who was to achieve greatness but the luck was not by his side. I was thinking, am I also like him? Stuck in the past which is golden age to my present state.

He told his father was a joint secretary. All his brothers and sisters are in top positions of the country. Some are higher government officials, some are doctors. He because of some conflict did not sit for Public Service examination. If he had, he would have also became a government official.

His grandfather was a close friend of a top political figure of the country. Ironically, that was not the party he was with. He further added, he is relative of a renowned singer of the country.

While he was talking, I was thinking, most people are very much similar. They have similar thought process. Most men, who think of themselves not being able to reach the full potential, or think they could achieve more but foe some reason were not able to do so, are the men who loves to stuck in the past. Also, most of them look for connections to famous figures of the country.

The first part, I understand. As I also think of myself a failure and stuck in between what could have been and what were, not prioritizing what is currently happening in the present. Or, how present can be utilized to have a better future, where I would not have to think that I am a failure.

If you do not know where you are going, every road will get you nowhere. - Henry A. Kissinger

Currently I am trying to get out of this situation. But, I do not know where to go, wich path to chose, which mountain to climb, which sea to cross. I know, still there is time to not be a prisoner of the past and boast about all the great things of the past. There are possibilities to make the future better. Hopefully I would be able to sort out everything.

Even if I remain a failure, I wish I do not have to boast about the so called golden past!

Am I a narcissist for making all my posts about me?

Whatever! The over-thinker mind is already working overtime. Let me not increase its burden any more.