I recently was asked the following question by a parent:
"'I don’t mind my 12-year old daughter using her iPad for recreational purposes. But lately, it’s been distracting her sleep pattern. She’s sleeping later and later because she’s glued to it. I’ve tried to take it away but this results in her yelling and resisting even more to go to sleep. I even tried to go on a light jog after dinner to get her a bit tired and ready for bed. Any suggestions?''
Being an effective parent includes establishing limits and sometimes saying “no.” The typical 12-year old will yell and resist when they don’t get their way. When you say “no” – also known as “doing your job as a parent” - they’ll sulk and pout and yell and try to guilt you into capitulating. Trying to get what they want – even if it’s not in their best interest - is their choice. There’s nothing wrong or unusual about that.
As a parent, you also have a choice. You can allow your child to have their way, experience some short-term relief, possibly hear “you’re the best Mom (Dad) ever!” and contribute to their poor sleeping habits…..or….you can do what you think is in your child’s best interest even though it means some momentary unpleasantness.
When kids stay up too late, their sleep pattern is disturbed. Adults understand this, but adolescents often fail to appreciate the consequences of their actions. Consequences happen in the future. Adolescents live in the present.
All jobs involve some difficult moments. The most important job – parenting – is no different. The best parents say “yes” as often as possible while setting limits that are appropriate. A parent’s job description includes if and when an iPad can be used. Despite her protests, your daughter will be better off when you demonstrate that you are a parent who sets reasonable limits.
