Legitimacy

Hey Steemers,

I have an affirmation to share. Your struggle is legitimate.

I say this without exceptions or disclaimers because none exist- tangible challenges and internal struggles alike. If you are hurting, that feeling is real. It is not something to be shamed or tucked away into dusty corners. There is nothing to feel guilty about. Your pain is neither a burden on those around you, nor a presence inversely proportional to your worth. The struggle itself is hard enough; nothing good can come from beating yourself up about it.

Now, I know that this is easier said than done. I empathize profoundly with this. There are broken records in my head playing tracks called "get your shit together" and "oh, this again?". Listening to them has not once made me feel better. Never have I punished myself or wallowed in my shortcomings and progressed through the hardship as a result. Envelope yourself in the same support you'd show the people you love. I'll share some of my favorite self- love techniques...
~ lighting scented candles
~ putting myself in the middle of neature's beauty
~ finding the right song
~ a square of dark chocolate (shoutout to @anwenbaumeister for understanding this as a remedy)

Your struggle is real. This is true whether or not it is understandable to others. I'll share my example. Although I lost significant weight over the course of my eating disorder, I never appeared sickly. More often than not, I received positive feedback from people who noticed a difference. They said I looked "fit" and celebrated the arrival of my gaunt cheek and collar bones. This made it nearly impossible to accept that I was sick. How could I be, if I was receiving that coveted external validation? When doctors recommended gaining fat/weight, friends asked me if it was really necessary. It WAS (still is). I couldn't get my head around that. Struggle is does not always present itself in obvious ways.

Your struggle is not relative. You are allowed to experience your hardships without playing the comparison game. Now, I do believe that perspective is important. It takes great compassion to hold space for others while doing the same for ourselves. However, "there is no harder there is just hard" (Ash Beckham, TED speaker). Who are we to decide that ending a relationship is harder than giving up on a dream? Ash makes this point more eloquently than I ever could, so I've linked her talk here: https://www.ted.com/talks/ash_beckham_we_re_all_hiding_something_let_s_find_the_courage_to_open_up.

Your struggle is legitimate. Feel it, breath into it, move through it. I am holding space for you.