We raise our kids in such a way that it becomes easy for them to feel broken, as we tend to link their sexes to stuffs that we consider as gratifying. We live in times when there is more news of depression and suicides of younger ages, not knowing that it's as a result of our conscious and unconscious methods in how we raise our kids. We say to boys, men don't cry as if crying isn't in the genetic make up of men. We tell them that they should always hide their true feelings, which make boys grow with the illusion that they have no weakness. The society has taught us that in matters that concerns money, the male folks should always be the ones to pay - the many pressure of the male figure. In the Africa community, things are far worse, men who are supported largely by females are seen as weaklings. Little did we know that the trend of Slay Queens started from our method of raising our kids, girls were raise to be dependent on the male folks. Things will start changing and we would start having lesser Slay Queens when we change our attitude from the boy has to pay to the one who has more should pay
We leave boys with subtly egos in the method of which we raise them, and this egos the females are to care for. The society wants girls to see themselves to be smaller, to be not too successful so as not to drive the suitors away - to the females, a man that will be threatened by your success is the type of man that you shouldn't be interested in. Girls see themselves as competitions for men's attention, we won't mind seeing our son's girlfriend or girlfriends but we don't want to hear of our daughters male friends, talk more of boyfriend. Yet at a certain age we expect them to bring home a boy for marraige, which leaves me to wonder what crazy a race the girls are running. We want our daughters to remain virgins till marriage, but we expect our sons to have tested the waters long before marriage, which makes me wonder, who do they test their potency with? Our society has somehow taught us to see women who are not married at 40 as women who as failed in an aspect of life, but an unmarried male of same age hasn't just come to make his choice of a bride yet.
There are lots of people who don't like domestic work, both males and females. But our society has imputed in us that females must be domesticated. For this many pretend they are domesticated, so they can get married and once they are married, they stop the pretence. If you ask many men, what quality they must see in a woman before they can consider her as marriageable, many of them, if not all will say she must be homely or that she must be a good cook. Sometimes I get to think that perhaps female have cooking in their genetic structure, but then again, most renowned chefs are males. Cooking is suppose to be seen as an essential part of living that all human should posses, and not to be seen as a yardstick for marriage.
Final thought
We should change the default settings that the society has made us imbibe, in the way we raise our kids. Let's raise better kids, who don't feel a sense of entitlement to things or people; we shouldn't make our kids feel that some task or chores or courses are for a particular sex. Let raise our girls not as objects to be possed by men, and our sons shouldn't be pressured into becoming big shots in the nation. Recent research shows that just 21% of the total male population cares about their appearance as against 79% of females who feel the need to be physically attractive. Been physically attractive shouldn't be something we teach only girls to be, we should inculcate it into boys too, we also should teach girls to be successful, in the same vain as we teach our boys to. The girl child shouldn't shrink herself just to accommodate the boys. We also should understand that as our kids grow, so those their need to understand why you need them to do or not to do things, so we should always give explanations to the things we ask of them. Doing all these will enable us raise better kids, hence a better generation of great men and women will emerge.
Thanks for reading
Remember when God thought of greatness, he created you to show for it.
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