Not when a minor is involved.
I'm about to highlight a very personal and traumatic part of my life. If you don't wanna hear about it or are gonna be a dick please click away now.
When I was 15 an older man contacted me on Facebook (10 years older). He knew me through a mutual friend. Being the young and naive boy that I was I decided to meet him the very next day.
I lied to my mom and said I was going to a friend's house. When in all actuality I was going to this older man's house to have sex.
Sure. It was consensual, but I was just a child and wasn't mature enough to be making decisions like that. This older man preyed off of my innocence. He took my virginity that day and it's all downhill from there.
I remember in the beginning I saw some red flags and tried to leave him, so he came upstairs with a box cutter and started cutting himself. Saying that if I leave he's going to kill himself. I stayed.
Of course it didn't get better. He guilted me into staying by lying about some terminal heart disease he supposedly had. Obviously it was all bullshit but I was just a kid. He sat there and let me cry about his fake terminal illness.
I loved him and allowed him to abuse me for almost a year. He'd cheat on me often and then have unprotected sex with me. In turn putting my health at risk. He gave me alcohol and marijuana even though I was still a child.
Some of the time the sex wasn't entirely consensual either. Granted it wasn't violent I still couldn't say no, or I'd be guilted into it.
Turns out he wasn't only cheating on me with men his own age. He was working his way down my Facebook friend list. Sleeping with guys who were my age. At that point I knew I had to stand up and do something about it.
I felt like I was luring all of these boys into his arms and I couldn't live with myself.
I called the police and told them all about what this man has been doing. They came to my house and asked me some questions, and then they took my mom and me down to the station to file a statement.
He's now a registered sex offender. My restraining order expired in 2015.
This man negatively affected me for years. I remember sleeping around in an attempt to reclaim my sexuality. I felt like he stole a part of me, but honestly it just left me feeling alone and nasty.
This man was an adult and I was a child. He was supposed to know right from wrong and not allow any of this to happen. For years I felt guilty about reporting him, but I don't anymore. He's a predator. Maybe I suffered so that I could be the one to stop him.
I'm the only boy who was brave enough to speak up so he didn't get much jail time, but at least he's a registered sex offender now. I'd like to believe that he can't hurt anybody else.
I was afraid to share this story because I didn't want to perpetuate the stereotype that all gay men are pedophiles because that's not true. This one was though.
I still gravitate towards older men but I'm 20 years old now and that's my choice. Under no circumstances is it ever okay for an adult to be involved romantically with a minor.
Even if it's "consensual".
Minors aren't old enough to be making those decisions, and it's very likely they'll regret it down the road and wish you would've acted like an adult and prevented it from happening.
My story is a prime example of how easily an adult can take advantage of a minor both physically and mentally.
