Ne me regardez pas, s’il vous plaît. Take your thoughts away from me, mine are disturbing me enough. Maybe I can try… No, better not. I will do it when no one can see, hear or say anything about it. When my mistake can be transformed into an echo that only I will hear. What are the right words? How should I dress? How should I act? The cause could be in my physical appearance or in the length of my hair… Maybe in the length of my nails. The only certain thing is the problem is in me, or… Will I be the problem?
You know… I fear your look; even though I can’t see you, I can only imagine your gaze over me. I’m afraid of your voice, that one I sometimes forget. But today, during this conversation I couldn’t keep. It whispers within me, conspiring with my fears, my demons; and I’m quickly drowning in sea of negativism.
I return to reality at times, only to find myself in a never-ending conversation with… Me, being another person, all this during the outcomes I dream up spontaneously while I wait for something that didn’t happen, something that… Will not happen.
Am I a shame? Am I insane? Why am I sometimes so vulgar? Why do I feel disgusting for my appearance? Is it really my destiny to be only in conversations? Those forced talks that I start without knowing how to do it, and eventually they get lost and end somewhere, with the same interest that causes the homeless person that you didn’t see when passing.
How important is someone who only listens to music and takes refuge in it? The one who always thinks that the best way to start a conversation is by talking about songs. Yes, I am aware that all those who have spoken with me notice the innocent, stupid, noble, rude, vulgar, cowardly, squalid, and other qualifiers that can describe me perfectly. But, I try, I want to change, sometimes to be a little bit wicked, nicer, kinder, more handsome, more interesting. Quelque chose qui vous plaira… Ouais?
"Less is more", I have heard it in different areas many times, I think I understand the concept, but it’s difficult for me to apply it. I think I'm really afraid of failure. I'm like someone who lives in a dangerous area, and tells others not to come in, sometimes he sounds with good intentions, in others, he will seem proud of it or... Ignorance has overcome his intonation, and has left him as someone stupid and unconscious.
Eh… Bien, c’est moi.
