In my 36 years of life, I've always found it all comes back to love. I had a religious experience that I still can't deny and this brings me to my final truth. Everything, everyone, and all the nothingness in between were created by love. Yes, my religious or spiritual experience was aided by the use of LSD or some kind of research chemical, but it holds true.
I had witnessed my own funeral. Large shadows towering over a human-sized hole in the ground in the middle of the desert. I could not make out the words being spoken, but they were kind and loving words. I moved away from Earth and continued outside the universe and I backed up away from everything to the beginning of time. What I saw was a blue dot pulsing with a powerful white light. This dot contained all consciousness and physical matter. Everything was contained in this dot the size of an atom. There was nothing else. This dot was completely and utterly alone and when I spoke the words "It seems lonely" the atom exploded. After, I spent what felt like an eternity sitting on a plateau speaking to my friend of what the dot said to create the explosion. He became God and Satan at times and I the same. We would reverse roles and continue speaking. Through our speech, we gave birth to stars, animals, humans, language, war, plants, galactic systems and ourselves. In our discussion, we created the entire universe to convince the other of what we felt the word spoken meant. But, we were speaking the same word and feeling. The word was love. God and Satan were both a part of that blue dot. They have sat and discussed this for all of time. This was the birth of time and life and it was an explosive division to create something in order to not feel alone anymore.
This sounds lovely and grand, but to fully understand one must understand this was the birth of duality. For there to be love there must be hate. For joy, there must be agony. For compassion, there must be ignorance. This duality is one and the same. A yin to a yang. In existence, we must have duality. If the seed of life was love. Hate was the fruit.
Where does this leave us? Well, we live in a physical realm of duality. We must struggle in this endless war between hate and love. To love unconditionally we would cease to exist. The physical can only exist if the war continues, but purpose and meaning are found in that struggle. In a world without suffering there would be no compassion. I'm not asking you to take up arms and fight in this war. The front lines of this battle are found within you. You contain both hate and love. We often lose to hate and find ourselves degrading and belittling ourselves. Once we find love for ourselves we realize that everything and everyone is an extension of us, so we must love everyone in order to truly love ourselves. Like a spring deep within you, it will bubble up and spread to everyone and everything. Our true power lays within the understanding that destruction and creation are both us and power lays in between. When you see and are grateful for both negative and positive you will be allowed to fully be alive.
Although we speak so highly of the human spirit and soul, we must not forget to thank our ego. For without our ego we would still be an atom lonely and floating through a vast nothingness. The wondrous journey of pain and joy remind us that we are alive. When we feel both at the same time we find elation and rejoice for we know it was all for us.
I Love You All
