I can accept the fact that I am disabled and at least able to walk inside the bathroom although I just shuffle with my feet just to get to the sower while having something to grab hold unto. That is why when I got the bathroom renovated I bought a towel bar so that I could use it to support myself while walking to and from the bathroom door.
It is really a pitiful sight but at least I can still clean myself and do my business alone in the bathroom. I do not want anymore my aging parents to be bothered and get burdened by that uneventful thing and it will be more than a nightmare if it does happen.
My neck bone is one of the issues that I am really concerned with. If that would get worse I will possibly get paralyzed and that again is just unacceptable. I rather die and pray the Lord my soul to take because obviously no one in their right mind wants to get subjected even with this kind of life that I have much less being paralyzed and then live and then burden somebody afterwards.
I actually wanted to die now and wanted to end my life by myself but suicide is not on the table because of my spiritual beliefs. So I just choose to find more ways to improve my life but it is not as easy as it sounds even with mountains of money at my disposal.
Image by OpenClipart-Vectors from Pixabay
The comorbidities as they call it or the other illnesses that I got make my medical goals hard to do if there are even possibilities to do it because I am already a dialysis patient and having a bone issue with my backbone along with problematic parathyroid makes doctors disagree that I could survive my any surgical intervention.
Well I survived an appendectomy so I guess that it is a sign that I can do other surgeries like a parathyroidectomy which is way more less intrusive than opening up a belly. My appendectomy history might help me in getting other surgeries because it just went well so much that is was just like popping a zit and it is all over.
It is also better to be in a private hospital because things go way more fast then just being in a government hospital where at surgery time there are no medical students around trying to snoop or maybe practice on you or much worse use protective gear at your expense. For a private hospital you can choose whose doctors you want to treat you, basically getting the best treatment but of course it just needs a ton of money while in government hospitals you can go for a politician's financial assistance to shed some amount from the bills that will get charged unto you.
But for me I just wanted to go to the private hospital as things go fast so it is crucial for me to earn and save some money but that is really a painful process because time is not on my side plus the possibility of achieving my crazy medical goals is also a bit near impossible to happen.
But there is still a chance and I rather choose to keep believing that things will get better than giving up before trying. I just do not like to give-up because this life is worth living no matter how hard if there is still a glimmer of chance to improve my life then for me I just have to move on because you will never know if God has still a bit of miracle in stored for you.
My crazy plans still remains because this is a crazy life and I just have to work for it to happen. I am still needing a lot of prayers and hope that God would bless my efforts and also give me more friends even though the effective ones are online that I could not even meet in person. I guess that I am fortunate with online friends that also truly cares about my welfare, may God bless you all if not on this lifetime but in heaven where there is just joy forever.