Deep panic grips my emotions now. My heart just reacts by being in a constant high pressure beating and I hope it finally stops so I can also finally rest. I don't know why other patients die so soon without much suffering and some others like me just are given one after the other a battering ram of misery.
My mouth is now wide open everytime, my upper lip doesn't touch my front teeth anymore, gums are swollen but not painful and I now have a speech disability, so I am embarrassed just by speaking. I can't enjoy a hot cup of coffee anymore. I just wait for it to cool cool down to a warm temperature then I pour it into my mouth while lying down, keeping in mind not to spill because my pillow will get ruined. There are more than six billion people in the planet and I think I seem to be only the one that have gotten this problem. It wasn't like this just a month ago so the problem is exponentially progressing.
Leontiasis is such a rare disorder and how unlucky can I be that had it. Thanks for my ability in keeping myself alive for a long time with my own resources and I ended up with an unwanted price, the price that I paid in defying many tragedies that came into me. So I am now in a worry, I worry now in a lot of things, the things that I wasn't expecting that I now have to expect because that lately is what really is happening. I had fought long enough, I just need my graduation and yet the diploma maker seemed yo have died or forgotten about me.
I don't know what to do anymore but I will hold on. I will just keep my mind off it all and let it all out here at steemit. I will just try to do what I can because this is a sole effort, I am the one holding my own steering wheel and I am just lucky to have some family and friends in other parts of the world that supports me. Keeping myself sane and comfortable is my number one priority because it is what I need with some prayers and love for all this battle-weary soul of mine.
