I'm sensing a lot of anger in you. I recommend meditation, it is not normal to get so angry at strangers on the internet.
You shouldn't be ashamed about your mental illness. It is that very stigma that prevents people from getting help.
I'm there for you if you need support.
Just promise me you'll get help.
RE: The Wim Hof Diaries . . . Taking The Icy Plunge!