Avoiding the 'anyways' is one of the singularly most important pieces of advice I have ever received, both on the golf course and off it.
Most golfers, and when I say most I mean all amateur and possibly almost all professionals, will have a situation whereby they are about to hit their ball, yet they don't feel 100% comfortable.
Rather than stop the shot for whatever the reason, they will go ahead and hit that shot anyway. The problem with hitting an anyway, is that the result is never as good as it would have been otherwise.
This is because an anyway shot, is essentially an unneeded compromise which in the end will lead to bitterness and resentment.
There are many examples of golfing anyways, a personal 'favourite' of mine is whereby I'm just about to take my shot, having been through my pre-shot routine and I notice that I'm standing on a small twig or some other such object.
Whilst this may seem trivial to the non golfer, it is extremely off putting to somebody who plays the game regualrly. This is because, as you are no doubt coming to realise, that playing good golf requires you to be in a Zen flowstate.
In order to achieve this you need to make sure that everything that is within your control is just right.
The problem with the twig under the foot is it isn't as simple as just moving it, or at least it doesn't seem that simple when you're caught up in the moment.
This is because it may take you 30 seconds or longer to get into your groove in order to take your shot. Therefore if you do move the twig, you will need to come out of your shot and start the whole process again, so unless you're playing on your own, you are going to make your partner or partners wait for you.
The feeling of embarrassment for making somebody wait is often much more powerful than the desire to make a nice golf shot, and so I, and many other golfers around the world in the same situation, will simply take the shot,
and then . . .
Curse our luck, saying that we knew that was going to happen as we watch our ball slice away towards a large body of water.
Because our general lives do not follow as strict a set of rules as the game of golf, the kind of anyways we encounter are wide ranging and varied.
However they have the same effect in that they do not produce the desired results.
For instance you might be in the gym and your geared up for your workout, just as you leave the changing room and head upstairs to the gym floor, you feel the desire to go to the toilet.
However now you're ready so you just think, "ach, I'll just get on with my workout, I'll be fine." But of course you're not fine, as you soon find out when you're bursting for a wee and trying to do some leg presses.
Or perhaps it is not studying properly for an exam, or not doing research on a person or company that you are going to a job interview for, there are many life anyways and as in golf, they rarely produce as good a result as if they hadn't been there in the first place.
To rid yourself of the anyways is surprisingly easy, the tactic is very similar to getting over nicotine addiction when you quit smoking (something I have recently done).
All you do is make a mental, or even physical note when they happen. So when the sun glares out at you on your walk and you didn't take your sunglasses out 'just in case', you say to yourself; 'Ah yes, that was an anyway.'
It is important not to judge or beat yourself up about it, so no; 'Ah man, you idiot! That was an anyway; why do you do this to yourself?' No that is extremely self-defeating and is a subject all on its own, which we'll cover later on in this series.
The point of marking down your anyways (I myself think about the verse in the song There's Something Inside by Labi Siffrie, when he sings* We're gonna do it anyway - We're gonna do it anyway!) is that by making a note of them after they happen, it won't be long until you're catching them before they occur.
The next thing you want to do is to realise that doing the thing you're trying to avoid is not that bad.
So let's say you know you haven't studied enough for an exam. The trick is to be honest with yourself and ask; 'What am I not confident about in tomorrow's exam?'
Then to go and open a text book on the page of the thing you need to study and read it a couple of times. Then shut the book and say to yourself; 'That's the sort of thing that I'm going to have to read up on if I'm to do well in tomorrow's test.'
This will get you comfortable in the activity that you're trying to avoid, then just commit to doing the new thing for 20 minutes. You will find that before long you're immersed and wondering what all the fuss was about.
Remember it doesn't matter how Zen you get about your anyways, they will always be there, so don't think you can cut them out of your life entirely.
All you can do is recognise them and acknowledge them, that way you become their master and not the other way around.
Right, now I'm off to walk the dog on Hampstead Heath, it looks like it might get hot but I haven't got any water in the fridge and I'm in a hurry, so I'll just go ahead and do it anyway . . .
WHAT ABOUT YOU; WHAT ARE THE COMMON 'ANYWAYS' IN YOUR LIFE? OR PERHAPS YOU PLAY A SPORT LIKE GOLF AND ARE CONTINUALLY MESSING UP CERTAIN ASPECTS BECAUSE OF YOUR ANYWAYS? AS EVER, LET ME KNOW BELOW!
Title image: Nick Herasimenka on Unsplash
