Emotional Regulation for the Chronically Online

Tired of catching feelings in 4K?

FeelFilter™ is the first wearable neural scrambler that lets you browse, scroll, respond, and exist—without ever actually feeling anything real.

🧠 How It Works:

Our patented Apathy Mesh™ connects to your emotional recognition pathways and gently reclassifies all incoming signals as “Not That Deep.”

• You see a heartbreaking video? → Labeled mildly interesting.
• Someone leaves you on read? → Feels like wind.
• Ex posts a cryptic caption? → Translated to ”Nothing to see here.”

🎛️ Modes Include:

• Corporate Compliant™ – Smile while underpaid.
• Ghost & Go™ – Evade accountability in all known dimensions.
• Soft Block Deluxe – Deletes emotional residue with one blink.
• Feel It Later™ – Queues all emotions for midnight breakdown. Optional add-on: Pillow Screaming Mute Mode™.

🔐 Privacy First.

We only collect your unread trauma, passive aggression, and nostalgia you swore you deleted.
(We won’t sell it… unless someone offers enough.)

You asked for emotional boundaries.
We gave you a firewall.

Welcome to the future of feelings.
FeelFilter™ — Because processing is for Tuesdays.