I live in a different state than my immediate family. I used to always be there for my mother but I moved away 3 years ago which means that my dad and my brother had to step up. I'm realizing what horrible horrible people they are because all they do is complain about having to help her and visit her and they're mean to her. (that's the short version). So now I'm about a 16 hour drive away from there. I have PTSD and can't ride with others and try not to drive too much because it triggers my PTSD. So now I'm faced with how do I go see her? I'm disabled so I'm on a fixed income. I can go see her for a couple of days.... although I'd have to rent a car and drive and possibly get triggered so that's not the greatest option but probably the best. Although I haven't driven more than a couple of miles per trip since my service animal died. I haven't been able to afford another one yet. It would be my first time driving any distance without my service animal and I don't know how well that will work out. I could fly but don't have enough money for the ticket and I'd have to rent a car once I was there. so my only option is to pray I don't get triggered and rent a car. Here's the other problem.....
If I go now, I will not be able to afford to go to her funeral. If I wait to go to her funeral then I wont be able to see her alive again. I've been through too much mental and emotional abuse with my family. I still love them very much but I don't really want to be around them. I do want to see my mom though. She can't talk on the phone because of her lungs so I can only text. They don't know how much longer she'll last. They're saying a couple of weeks to about 6 months for her survival. .... I guess I'm just venting. I don't know what to do. Thanks for reading.
