Gabriela I can totally relate with your statement as everything seemed like a wild adventure since my early childhood. Now I can look at everything and see it as a great lesson. Scoala vietii as we would call it. I am still wrapping my head around everything and preocupied with moving some stuff and renovating the new place and I will make time to try and pitch my book again to publishers.
I hope that your tough mental situation will solve. I know that it must feel hard and like there is never a solution. But be sure that there is and clouds will be gone and you will start too feel better. Either way, pain will either make you or break you. I have found pain to be the biggest teacher, it can humble you and put you down in your knees, grasping for the core of your existence. If I wouldn't had coped with severe pain, I wouldn't have become what I am today. Somehow, I believe that the Universe uses what is necessary to take us to the next level, to our destiny. So have faith and push forward, the path is there.Take care and God bless you !