Hello! Yes, the thought of people finding out was the most scary thing and depressing for me to experience. I came to consider it quite ok , but the fear of judgement was so crippling for my mental state. I often woke up quite early in the morning to get out and do my shopping and this is how I made sure I was seen coming. Funny enough, after a while I realized that people are so concerned with themselves that they hardly ever notice or care what other people do. So it is quite possible some never realized the oddity of the situation. I find this to be the most depressing thing in our society right now, as a neighbor might die and it would take days until someone noticed or cared about their absence. I often found myself asking the same question, what if something happened with me, would those strangers even notice?
I also believe that we need more truth as social media is a display of sadness covered in fancy make-up and instastories which cover the reality of a depressed life. Most people are not as happy as seen on the screen and I believe we could encourage each other by revealing our true struggles rather than pretending to be just fine.
I am super grateful for everything and God is with me in everything I do. Thank you for reading this, I appreciate it!