As a child I had limited encounters with music. No more than the sounds of the Pentecostal church I attended. But like almost any child, church was an obligation. Then, beginning my pre-teen years, music began to enter my life.
Always as a listener. I tried to learn to play instruments and it was a complete and total failure.
I remember my first encounter with Limp Bizkit. His aggressive sound was attractive and broke a bit with my perception of life. The gospel overdose probably had something to do with it. I had a pressing need to accept my transgressor side. The oppression of such a rigid doctrine needed to be channeled. The headphones created intimacy with the one I wasn't supposed to be. That and they were appearing also wide pants, chains, giant divers... I also got a moustache! But it has nothing to do with the subject.
I analyze all this now, painting some grey hairs. At the time, it just felt good. System Of A Down, Korn, Slipknot, maiden, megadeth. Then I heard some punk. First the basic one, Blink 182, The Offspring and finally my favorite N.O.F.X.
To all this, I looked with displeasure at any other genre. At parties I leaned against the wall. I drank in silence watching around me with contempt. However, my interior danced to the warm popular music. The rigidity of my prejudices - dressed up as principles - prevented me from taking part. Perhaps in some carelessness my feet disobeyed and moved to the beat of tropical cumbia.
Eventually I realized that I was just resisting myself. I realized that I was limiting my tastes in the name of a meaningless musical sectarianism. Art is a bridge between reality and emotions. I went with time letting go and enjoying myself. Metal, cumbia, rap, some sad ballad, even some pop.
Art exists to expand us. Get us out of the prison of our miserable prejudices. I resisted certain music, but I still felt it; but I didn't enjoy it. I could notice it at that moment, of course. But how was I going to be seen by my friends? The insecurity once again stopping the enjoyment.
If I am anxious I hear cumbia
indignant? PUNK!
If I am sad (or melancholic) I hear metal.
If I'm at work, electronics, sometimes jazz.
Music is something special for me. So are my intempestive emotions. I acquired extensive resources to accompany each feeling.
By the way I don't fight against negative emotions, even sometimes empowering them. It's the best and most effective way to deal with darkness.
Accept it, we are light and dark. We are calm and passionate, we love and hate. Negative emotions become much more bearable when the environment does not resist them. Music is an unparalleled catalyst for emotions.
I also find some anime series highly motivating. I'll probably talk about it at some point.
I hope this short post doesn't bother you! I'm working on other things too, but I want to know your opinion about it!
