When reading your article it seems that some song came to my mind:

🎵🎶"You're a monster, Mr. Grunt
Your heart's an empty hole
Your brain is full of spiders, you've got garlic in your soul, Mr. Grunt
I wouldn't touch you with a thirty-nine-and-a-half foot pole!"🎵🎶

I need that card!!! Even in level 1 is sick! Great article, @thebusycat!