Good Morning Steemians!
Let me introduce myself. I am French Canadian, born and raised in Montreal, Quebec.
I enjoy music, inline skating, downhill and water skiing, gymnastics, music, ping-pong, beauty (all aspects) and music : )
I am fascinated by psychology, human behavior, picking my own brain for any possible reason just to observe my own behaviors, science, quantum physics and astronomy just to name a few…
I always had a passion for writing and hope to have the courage not to give up until I find my voice.
I have been a silent observer on Steemit for a few months now, and every time I ranked-up the courage to write this introduction post and get started, I found myself getting distracted with just about anything and ended-up procrastinating. My own behavioral patterns observations have led me to believe it’s my way to compensate for my fear of being exposed and criticized.
For some strange reason, the concept of not needing anyone’s approval does not seem to sink in, even though I bought the program!
What pushed me to show-up this time is a post from @chbartist called “Notice Small Progress; Celebrate Every Victory When It’s Due…”. as I was very moved by its content after reading it because I can relate to it so strongly.
It made me realize that I have been very hard on myself and have not been celebrating my small victories (those every little steps I am taking), although I have had many in the past 6 months. I seemed instead to demand greater achievement from myself (the result you get at the end of the road) before recognizing my own efforts. Refreshingly, it brought me to show myself empathy and self-appreciation, while last night, I was almost ready to give up.
I was wondering if I might have been fooling myself thinking that I could actually start a blog and be good at it. I have been putting so much effort, investing multiple hours a day (performing different activities as self-help) to bring myself out of this rabbit hole, I felt the mental stability I had regained over the past year had been pushed out of balance after receiving disappointing news about a solution to an important problem I have been trying to solve.
This one post seems to have given me the courage to kick myself in the ass and do it because I resonated with it so much and made me realize that one of my posts may have the same impact on others, as we are all unique and at different levels, doing different things and living our lives based on our own experiences and with our respecting personality type and characteristics.
If I keep sitting here just watching, I just might waste an amazing opportunity to get myself unstuck. You can’t expect anything to change if you don’t change anything about what you are doing, right?
I have been wanting to share my experiences with depression and mental illness for a very long time, (hoping to help, inspire or bring new perspectives of viewing things), but considering the struggles I went through those past 8 years along with post-syndromes that came with it, I had not found the courage to put myself in that vulnerable place.
My intuition is giving me a clear signal this time so, watch for my posts in the next few days, and please share any comment, I promise I will have the courage not to take things personally and will recognize the opportunity that every comment brings.
I have been looking for my tribe for a very long time, but never found one that seemed to be transmitting on my frequency…I can tell you that this one sure sounds like it does. : )
Since I’m a music lover, and that music continually inspires me, this song popped into my head when I finished writing this and I thought I’d share it.
Just Steemit!
Big Love,
@cosmic.girl