I get high a lot. As often as I can. It's not any dark web drug or corner store bud or yeastless and tasteless Rocky Mountain municipal water runoff. It's not junk or crack or gofast or even that bullshit kratom our old sax player was hooked on. It's not anything you can slurp or snort or huff or shoot or smoke or stick in your butthole.
It's gratitude.
And joy.
And awe.
And probably a fuckload of oxytocin.
Some might say you've hit rock bottom when you have to go outside in sloppy snowfall on four hours of sleep so you can get your fix. Don't feel like no rock bottom to me, though. Feels like fluffy cloud sky top. Outer space twinkle time. Wings spread wide flying high time passing by in the blink of an eye and other such appropriately overused expressions.
When I take the camera out with me I can capture proof of this highly addictive magical cocktail of crow time. What's more, I get to continue the high after dark while all my buddies are huddled together in the night taking group shits on downtown sidewalks and unsuspecting vehicles.
I get to eyegaze with Melby as I bring out the highlights and rich cocoa brown tones of his perfect round peepers.
I get to highlight his bristly mustache and trace the edges of his crooked beak, the crookedness of which is just subtle enough not to be seen by the naked human eye, but strong enough to demonstrate through photography the weight of the world that rests upon the shoulders of a father crow.
I got you, Melby. Let me help take a load off. Hook you up with some good, clean food. Watch the kids for a couple minutes while you chase off that scrub jay.
Sometimes I carry the awe and the wonder of the intoxicating life of crow into my dreams. Feel with my fingertips in the Land of Nod those feathers which I can only admire from a distance in my waking life. Sometimes we carry on conversations, and I wake up wondering if we have shared the same dream.
I'm pretty sure we have.
It's a good life.
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