"I drank too much coffee."
"Again?!"
"Yes, again, bitch. How the fuck else am I supposed to have a shit ready for you this early in the morning?"
"Tshhhh--don't talk like that! People are at work, you could get them in trouble with that kind of language."
"People are at work, you could get them in trouble."
"Don't mock me. I'm serious. We already had somebody complain about you being NSFW in the underwear post."
"WTF is the underwear post? Are you talking about that post you made about me dragging your chicken butt up that mountain in Utah? That tiny little mountain?"
"Yeah that one. And thanks."
"For what?"
"For using the acronym instead of saying what the fuck."
"Tshhhh--don't talk like that! People are at work, you could get them in trouble with that kind of language."
"Did you just use copy/paste to mock me?!"
"Yes. It's early. It's fucking early. Cut me some slack."
"Fine. Take all the slack you need. Just hurry up and shit so we can go back inside. I'm hungry."
"Wait, what? Hungry? Are you implying that you're gonna eat my shit?"
"Jesus Christ can't I just have a normal dog."
"Ok, I took a shit. It's right over there."
"Cool, thanks. Lemme go pick that up."
"Aren't you gonna congratulate me? Tell me I'm a good boy, great job pooping, way to go, like you always do?"
"Good boy! Great job pooping! Way to go, Pilot. Way. To. Go."
"Now tell me I'm cute."
"You're cute. You're the cutest little dog in the galaxy."
"You mean that?"
"Of course I do, buddy. Now come over here so I can boop your nose."
Photos shot with Nikon D7500 and edited in Lightroom. Blog written by Pilot while I was passed out on the couch.
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"Boop my nose and I'll bite your nuts off."
"I don't have nuts."