Hello Hivers I give you an article themed with the month of love, February. Well there's one day anyways that a lot of us celebrate, Valentine's Day. Alright this was quite sometime ago, 1994. I had been on quite a few dates and even had a few short relationships prior to this. The one I'm going tell you about now is my first long term relationship. Well it's not a happy ending but it did teach me many lessons and even changed me some.
How we met
I recently graduated from Basic Military Training/Technical School for the United States Air Force (USAF). I arrived at Offutt AFB, Nebraska on 4 October. I met Danielle on 6 October, she was sitting in day room watching television in the same dorms I lived in.
I had entered the dorms and just glanced over at the day room. I seen a girl sitting there didn't even think much of it. I kept walking than I heard her say hi. I turned back and returned the same salutation. She quickly returned with a how are you. I answered back with a not bad how about you. She than said she was bored and asked me to come over and have a seat.
We talked for a awhile and I'm not going to lie I thought the whole situation was kind of odd to me. I have never met someone that asked a complete stranger to come over to them to talk. I just didn't know what to think. I did notice she said hi to everyone that entered the building. The dorm greater? She didn't ask them to come over and have a seat though, haha.
A lot of the conversation was military related. Things like what is your career field, experiences in basic training, and what are jobs entailed. After a bit she asked me if I wanted to go for a ride. She said she wanted to show me around. I agreed, it wasn't like I had much going on.
She drove me around the installation showing me mostly everything. Our last stop before going back to the dorms was the parade field. She parked her car and we stayed in it. We talked some more, this time more about our childhood. I'd say we talked for about 15 minutes than spent another 45 minutes not talking 🤫 Once back to the dorms she asked me come visit her at work the following night. I worked days and she worked mid shifts so that was possible.
Showed up at her work
She worked at the base's community activity center. The center had a few video games, pool tables, dart boards, and a few other games. So there was stuff I could do if she was busy with customers.
I'd say I got there around 7:30 p.m. She asked why I got there so late. I told her I went to the gym after work, showered, and got something eat. She seemed happy to see me still. They weren't super busy so I talked to her some of the time. When she had customers I kept myself busy with the activities. I could tell she was keeping an eye me, haha.
It came to the point where I was thinking I should probably go. I was thinking give her some space, afterall we just met the day before. I came to Danielle telling her I had a good time and I'm going to head out. She told me that she gets off soon and to just stick around.
So I did, we left her work at about 10:30 and went back to her dorm room. I had to work at 7:30 a.m. the next morning. I don't remember for sure but I'm guessing I stayed there until at least 3:00 a.m. in the morning. I told her good night and walked to my dorm room that was a floor above. Before I get too far ahead let me tell you about her a bit.
A little bit about her
Alright Danielle was just above average looking. She was about 5'7, long brown hair, blue eyes, and had a nice figure. We were both the the same age, 20. I picked up quickly she was very flirty to everyone. Danielle also had a hyper personality that would draw many onlookers. Not always in a good way either. She is not shy jumping into others conversations. Also she laughed very loud which only drew attention. I can remember feeling embarrassed many times. I'll say making conversations with her was easy but hard to end.
The rest of the relationship
There were good times and bad times. We both visited each others family a few times. Several times we would go out for a dinner and movie. Another thing we did was volunteer our time together on projects for the community. Alone time was good with her.
I will admit the flirting did rub off on me the wrong way. Sometimes her hyper personality could be too much. I use to get a lot of people ask me how can you stand that. I usually was quick to answer with a I don't know. If we ever went out as a group or were just around others she always had to be the center of attention.
The flirting did drive me to become very jealous. I even became a little protective of her. It surely didn't help that I had other people tell me of incidents. I really had thoughts of just dumping her. Once I seen her talking to another guy in the day room of the dorms. By the time I got up to them I heard the guy say see you tonight. I questioned her about this and she said that he plays pool a lot at her work. Big red flag for me because I haven't seen him hustling tables there,
probably trying to hustle her.
Well I went to her work after I got off work. I felt I had to check this out. Once I arrived I seen the guy talking to Danielle. I was a bit pissed to say the least, both were all smiles and were pretty close to one another leaning into each other on the counter. She seen me and immediately leaned away from him.
Once I got up to the counter she sort of treated me like customer. She even recommended to the both of us to play a game of pool. We ended up playing and I asked him if he plays pool a lot and he said he rarely plays. Even told me he hasn't played in a few years. It was at this point I had a bad taste in my mouth. Why wouldn't I she basically lied to me?
Later on, she told me that she mistakenly told me he played pool. We got into a fight about it and I decided to distance myself for a couple of days. Once we got back together again, she apologized for it. It wasn't soon after this incident she went on a training exercise at another base.
So she left for this training exercise and was going to be gone for 30 days. We had agreed that she would call every night when she had time. It worked out well at the beginning she called the first 3 nights but after that I think I only received a call or two from her.
There was some people I knew that went on that trip that came back a few days before her. I found out from them she hooked up with someone. She must have known I knew this because I never received a call from her with her incoming flight information. When I did eventually see her I let her know I couldn't see her no more. She was emotionless and didn't even say anything. To be honest, I'm glad it went that way I was 100 % done.
Lesson learned
I learned a few things from this relationship. First off, I should have listened to my thoughts when I found the situation off. I'll admit that women that are overly aggressive I should avoid. A lot of her hyper personality didn't really align with mine. Her hyper personality often embarrassed me. I'm a laid back kind of guy, I don't like a lot of attention.
I'll admit I was a jealous and overly possessive person while I was with her. Probably had a lot to do with trust issues. I challenged her a lot numerous times. These were traits I was able to drop in future relationships. I just simply didn't date girls who were big flirts or overly aggressive at first. I also didn't date another girl who was in the military. I'm not going to lie living in the military dorms it is much a sausage party.
Moving foward
Alright this relationship almost made it a full year. I think I was more miserable than I was happy. I didn't soak with my emotions after I cut it off. What happened next was a rebound.
The rebound relationship actually was much better. I can remember bringing my date to the dorms for the first time. Guess who was sitting in the day room? It felt good seeing her look on as I was courting my date to my room. A few weeks later Danielle tried to talk to me but I was short with her and I said had to go. A few months later she was out of the military.
I hope you enjoyed this story of my first real longterm relationship. I'll have more like these as we inch closer to Valentine's Day.
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