There was a period in my life when self-doubt almost made me give up on something important. I remember getting a catering job that seemed very perfect for me to cook for sixty people; I was happy. And I was looking forward to it. Till they called me and changed their order, instead of the sixty people, I was asked to make it for a hundred ànd fifty people. Immediately that tiny voice in my head started whispering, You cannot do this one; this one is not that jollof that you cook at home.
For days I went back and forth wondering if it was even worth trying; what if I make a flop? I would just open the order, try to draft an agreement and part payment, and then I will close it again. Deep down I want to actually take up the job, but something keeps telling me that I might make a mistake. I keep asking everybody what they think. One evening, I sat myself down, I took a deep breath, and I decided to stop overthinking everything. I brought out the job order, being to draft my quotes for the food and then forward it to the organizer.
Finally, after like a week. I received an email that my quotes were approved. I was happy but still very anxious about what the outcome will be. Furthermore, I made the food, packaged it, and sent it out to the client. Later in the day I was called back by the client asking me if I could make a pot of egusi soup for them. That my rice was good—that single statement felt like proof that maybe I have been holding myself back for no reason. I know I wasn't perfect because I made the meat and chicken sauce a bit spicy, which didn't taste that great to me. I have that contract with me, so you can see my joy when I got the feedback, and it was my first time.
Likewise, I still do it sometimes. Looking back then, I realized that the biggest obstacle wasn't my lack of ability but my lack of belief in myself. I shut that voice in my head, and everything changes. I learned from that experience that self-doubt doesn't disappear overnight, but your courage grows every time you choose to move forward despite anything.
Image is mine.
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