Forgiveness isn't always about the other person; it's about you. Letting go of grudges can free you from the emotional weight of anger, resentment, or pain. Carrying those feelings can quietly drain your mental energy, affect your health, and keep you stuck in the past. In that sense, forgiving can be an act of self-liberation.
I struggled for years to forgive my parents and aunt. Yes, it took a complete ten years to let go of all the hurt and pain.I was angry with my dad, especially because he never cared to listen to all my complaints and grievances towards his sister. But it was easy to forgive my mom because she actually listened when she noticed that my complaints had become frequent.
But my dad was adamant about it until I developed a deep hatred toward him. He didn't realize that I was hurt and a scar is in my heart that forgiveness alone can't erase, but it will take a gradual process of healing.My aunt did me dirty in a way that tore the entire family apart when my parents finally found out, causing a big strain between me and her children.
I forgave her years later not because she deserved it or earned it but because of me; I wanted to be free from her shackles. I noticed that every time I see her, I get so angry that I don't want to see her.Thank God for the word of God because I had to let go, but I kept a very safe distance from her and all of her.
But forgiveness isn't automatic or obligatory in every case. Some harms are deep and ongoing. Some offenders show no remorse or continue harmful behavior, like my aunt.In my own situations, I forgive them, but it doesn't mean I'm excusing their wrongs or allowing them back into my life. It simply means I'm releasing my emotions that I've been holding on to about the incident so I can move forward without pretending the wrong never happened.
The idea that someone must deserve forgiveness is tricky. If we wait for people to earn it, we might remain locked in pain until they change something we can't control. However, forgiving doesn't erase accountability. You can forgive someone while still setting boundaries, demanding justice, or choosing not to reconcile.
Image is mine
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