We perceive everything through our minds conditioning which basically means that we perceive everything through what we already know and understand about life. This causes problems such as misinterpretations of communication and prevents growth and change.
Here I will explain the three models of NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming) and explain how each one is strengthening your mental conditioning and keeping it firmly in place.
- Generalistation – This is when the mind generalises events, so if we had a bad experience, say swimming, as a child, our minds would expect the same thing to happen again in a similar situation in the future. This is how phobias are created. Phobias are completely illogical fears and they exist as a result of our minds generalising events thus triggering feelings of fear from an old traumatic experience.
Another common problem that generalisation causes is trust issues, especially when it comes to relationships. This occurs because the pain felt is so strong that the individual fears the same thing happening again. If a man cheats on a woman or visa versa, the person who has been cheated on could end up believing that no man/woman can be trusted in a relationship again. This type of belief is extremely detrimental to future relationships. If you tend generalise groups of people be that; race, sex, nationality etc, you are limiting your chances of having positive experiences with these people.
Deletion- This is when we focus only on what matches our pre-existing beliefs and conditioning, such as selective hearing. For Example, if someone who was insecure about their appearance got ten compliments and one nasty thing said about the way they look in the space of a day, they would go home feeling miserable as a result of only focusing on the negative. The reason this happens is because the latter matches the beliefs that they already have and triggers pre-existing feelings of sadness associated with their insecurity.
Distortion- This is when people adjust/distort what is happening to fit their conditioning/beliefs about the situation that is being perceived at the time. This causes people to misinterpret true meanings of communication and can often result in conflict. For example, you could give someone friendly advice or helpful well meant criticism with the intent of motivating them to improve but they could perceive it negatively (through their pre-existing insecurities) and this could result in conflict or resentment from the receiving party. If this were to happen, your supportive intention behind the criticism, along with any chance of positive growth from it, would be lost and their insecure feelings about themselves would be strengthened due to focus and identification with them after they were triggered.
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