An issue that could never be resolved in my opinion, the only way I see a slight shift in removing bias from these equations is to remove the individual from the situation and judge the situation itself, for example:
”Degenape came late to work because he’s irresponsible”
Rather than look at who he is as a person, we have to look at the issue of someone coming late to work and ask ourselves how bad of an offense that is and how we can help to avoid it.
It doesn’t stop there.
We judge people for good and bad and yet we don’t judge ourselves at all, we give ourselves excuses as to why things happen to us and not why things happen to other people.
Another example is ”degenape only got this job because he got lucky” vs. ”I got this job because I work hard”.
Is this avoidable?
The answer could be yes but in order for that to happen we must remove individuals from the equation and simply look at the situation at hand, both people got jobs and that should be that, there shouldn’t be anymore to it.
But we are wired with envy, jealousy, judgment, and feel entitled to speak our opinions on individual situations to boost our own success and minimize our failures.
Does this mean you should never formulate an opinion?
No.
It just means you should formulate an opinion on the action itself and not the individual.
None of us want to believe that we are fundamentally flawed human beings.
We believe that our intentions are pure. So when we look at ourselves we are going to say, it's not me, but this situation which is causing me to react this way.
I have noticed this is true regardless of how someone conducts themselves.
Example, people who only think of themselves don't go to bed saying that to themselves, they lie to themselves and rationalize their behavior.
So it is natural when we see someone behaving in a manner we don't agree with to say, we'll that person is just x type of person.
It's just who they are, they can't help it.
Rather than attribute their actions to the situation they are in and ask could something have caused this behavior.
The cure starts with being honest with ourselves.
When we look at our lives we need to say is there something fundamental about who I am that is causing this situation & when we can be honest with ourselves we can begin to be honest when looking at others and considering their situation.
It's very hard to see our own flaws, and gives a cozy (at least in the short term) satisfaction to think that others failed due to their personalities - it's just a way to cover our own insecurities.
But when it's us who fail...
Well the situation was obviously unfair.
It's tough and can only be dealt with through a level of honesty which I've always found difficult. But it's the path to freedom...
To be honest, I see a relationship with God as being very helpful - my attempts to be honest with myself are so private, so personal that it helps that there's someone who sees all - preferably someone who genuinely likes me and understands the difficulties of life and is on my side as I work through them.
You see I don't work through them at some high level of skill, or in any way which the world would approve of.
It's more like a toddler having their hand held and learning how to walk - it's incredibly difficult to be that honest and and not just that but be aware in the first place.
They say denial is the shock absorber for the soul, and it takes a belief that we're loved to even allow ourselves the opportunity to see our own faults.
Awareness grows with love, not force - some part of us already knows it all, but we're waiting until we feel loved enough to show ourselves more of the truth.
So yeah, I've noticed this error quite commonly in myself.
