Why do people find it difficult to ask for help?
It is because sometimes “help” comes with insults, uncertainties and silence feels as a safe thing to do but not completely wise.
There has been times, I asked for help that it became a ridicule. Some offered to help with buckets of insults and demeaning remarks.
As a firstborn child who has been on the giving end, I always tell myself that I will find a way round it.
Which is one of the reasons I really appreciate every help I get whether in word, kind or cash gifts a lot because it's not something that happens all the time to me.
No one is weak or lazy for needing help.
Sometimes it is also been human to protect yourself from further ridicule and shame.
While seeking for help endeavor it doesn't become a routine, else you lost your sense of dignity and worth.
Some might look at you with contempt and dismeanour especially those in position or privileged to help.
There are also people who notices that you are stuck and they offer help even before you get to ask. These kinds are rare but they exist. Sometimes, you should have a circle of friends you can count on or who can come together for you.
In my case, they always assume with great confidence that I'm doing so well. I remember a season I was so broken financially and mentally, my back was against the wall.
I reached out to someone who had enough to spare either for a loan but the man's statement was like "come to the house, there is rice" but I needed money for support.
I had to explained the situation carefully to him and the next thing " I am always after best deals and I don't want you to bother me again".
Even if you cannot help, be kind with your choice of words
I felt sad about it but someone i did not expect to help was the one who bailed me out that day.
Guess who called me again three months ago to seek help, I could have reminded him of that time but I did not but I simply asked him to pay for the service to be rendered.
Sometimes when you ask for help from others. They are might be quick to assume you are lazy or unproductive. Maybe if you worked or did extra, you would not be seeking help.
Life just happens that people lose their jobs, get sick and spend all their savings.
I often tell people that life can test you to an extent that your finances alone can't handle the problem or situation.
It takes a lot of courage and effort for me to ask for help because I'm always anxious about what the person's reaction might be.
And I do not hate people because they didn't help out. I always have in mind that "people all have choices to make"
They have their reasons too, they could be struggling with pain or something you don't know.
I was hurt by his response of rice but we are still in touch. Also I have not asked him for help anymore but he has sent several gifts across to my kids on their birthdays.
He tried to apologize three years later, I told him that we have passed that stage.
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