Not long ago, I took someone out for a casual day out, an outing that ended up being a little shopping. After a while, he said he was starving so we decided to stop by Costa. He knew what he wanted: something cold and refreshing. I, on the other hand, did not. I stood there looking at the menu, trying to find something that called to me, but nothing really did. Coffee? Not my thing. Tea? Not much better. Cakes? Again, not usually something I'm craving.
Perhaps it was how I was raised: I love simple food, mostly spicy and nothing else. So I ordered something, not because I wanted it, but because I somehow felt it was the right thing to do. We sat at the small table. Two seats. One drink. One cake. And that’s when a little thought settled in: Why does this table for two feel like it’s only hosting one appetite? I wasn’t hungry. I don't really eat before midday anyway, it’s a habit I’ve held for years.
But here I was, physically present, mentally somewhere else. The person across from me was fully in the moment - enjoying his treat, sipping his milkshake drink. I was sitting in front of him and i kept talking while he ate in peace. But something about the simplicity of it all sat with me. This wasn’t about feeling left out or out of balance. It wasn’t about being off center emotionally.
It was about realizing how often we find ourselves within situations of which we are a part, but not participating in. Not because of the situation or what was happening, but simply…naturally. And that’s okay. Not every moment has to bring with it an expectation of full engagement. Some moments arise for the sole purpose of holding space — for someone else just to make their day or make them feel good.
It also began to make me think about how often we move through life doing what is expected or had to do something unexpected even when it doesn’t fit wholly with how we feel. Sometimes we sit at tables not because we want to eat, but because we want to connect. Sometimes we show up not because we want something, but simply because we value someone, and that is enough and worthwhile.
So, yes, it was a table for two. But only one person's appetite was served, and that was perfectly fine. The presence mattered more than the plate. The relationship outweighed the drink. Sometimes you don’t need to arrive at the table in hunger. Sometimes, being at the table is enough.
