When someone asks this ubiquitous, slightly reductionist question, they're essentially boiling your actions down to: how do you make money? What is the thing that you spend most of your waking hours on in order to pay your bills and make ends meet?
Introductions can be awkward, as the act of striking up a conversation with a stranger is often narrowed down to where you were born and what your career is. It's understandable, as these queries are an easy ice-breaker, a method of quickly ascertaining who a person is and what they are about.
You may quickly uncover a commonality, whether it be in the type of industry you work in or if you both have similar interests. If you're into skiing and discover someone works as a ski patrol, it's a great jump point for an extended conversation about what it's like, what the best mountains and terrain for skiing are, and other sub-topics that allow for further discussion.
There are many people who define themselves by their career, which is easy to comprehend, as our identity is often tied very closely with the activity that financially sustains us. Many people have spent a large part of their life in school to be able to perform a specific activity and it can often be of huge importance to learn what another person 'does' in their life.
But there is often an imbalanced tendency in society to jump to the career question as a method of defining whether someone is a success or failure. We view someone's corporate ladder climb as a measure of their character, and we often show disdain or pity for those who haven't achieved a similar status.
I think of the individuals who end up in industries they didn't dream of working in. The fast-food workers, the janitors, the bus drivers, the TSA agents, etc. Their response to the 'what do you do' cliche may be one of shame, guilt, or embarrassment, as they are forced to reckon with the reality that they aren't exactly engaged in the activity they would most want to spend their day doing.
I'll bet that many of these people are engaged in activities outside of work that they receive meaning from which may not result in any sort of positive cash flow, but which still add a great degree of value to their life. Or perhaps it's also condescending to assume that these perceived undesirable positions are something to view in a negative light, as it may provide them a level of enjoyment most outsiders aren't able to conceive of.
Life is composed of many things. Of course, time spent earning money for the purpose of increasing our level of security and satisfaction is a critical component of that.
If our career isn't providing us with adequate purpose or meaning, we may be engaged in activities outside of this realm that are fulfilling this requirement. Even if we're stuck at a dead-end job, our life may be imbued with plenty of meaning from our vibrant social-network, our art, our preferred fitness activity, or perhaps just our state of mind.
And beyond career activities, hobbies, and time spent 'doing' things, our life is also defined by how we relate to our own existence. In fact, this is probably the most important element of all. A successful career won't bring sustainable satisfaction and happiness in and of itself. That elusive element of happiness comes from our relationship with ourselves.
What we do in life matters. But how we exist in the present moment, separate of any specifically defined activity, matters just as much, if not more. It's important to remember that the next time someone asks you the question: 'what do you do?'
All uncredited pictures from pixabay.com or my personal account
