I may not be as patriotic as some Americans, but I do love my country. I love the fact that we are free and able to go where we want, work where we want, eat what we want, and have a life that makes us happy.
But after 9-11, I see more and more how it changed MY world...
When I got sentenced on September 6th 2001, I waited to be transported to the Idaho State Correctional Facility. I had no idea when they would come to the jail to pick me up, but I knew what was going to happen, and where I was going.
It took them 7 days to get me there, but in the meantime, I watched as the second plane smashed into the second tower.
It was a tough morning because I was sound asleep. I dont like it when people wake me up. It has to be the worst thing a human can do to me. But this morning, the only morning ever, I was not angry because my bunkie woke me, rather mortified.
I took off the eye cover and looked at the guy that woke me getting ready to reduce him to dust with cruel words, just to hear him say that America was under attack.
My sleepy brain couldnt process what he said, so instead of attacking him, I decided to take my angry self down the stairs to the day room tv. What I saw was what I thought was a tv show. I just about turned around and told him off when I turned back to see the second plane hit the second tower. Then I looked at the bottom of the screen. It was CNN News. This time, I just stared at the tv and forgot about my anger. I was now confused.
I asked another inmate what was happening and also listening to the newscaster, I figured it out. America WAS under attack.
Not saying anything to anyone for the longest time, I looked at the tv, and then turned to see behind me everyone sitting in their bunks watching the tv. Not one of them said a word. No one was even moving!
Then, "What the F***!" The entire dorm broke out in questions, and the guard who was placed there decided to try and calm everyone. It didnt work. It just got louder until everyone was told to get to their bunks.
We talked for the rest of the day about what it all meant. And someone brought up John F. Kennedy. This man signed a bill saying that if America was ever attacked, then inmates would be the first to go. Of course it was much more detailed and wasnt as scary as it sounded, but the inmates made it sound like we all were going to be shot to death.
I was scared and two days later, I was sent to prison. The day I walked into the correctional facility, I thought I would die there. I thought I would end up like all the other SO's we hear about on tv.
But everyone was worried about airplanes. The guards did drills for weeks after 9-11. We were used as their dummies. We were used as "hostages" and played roles as the guards negotiated with our "captors". We were told that it was all for safety. Our warden told us that it was totally legal to ask inmates to be used in these ways. But he lied.
For the days following 9-11, I didnt know if the John F. Kennedy "thing" would happen. After being moved to Unit 14 from intake, a few inmates were talking about it with the guards. They told us that it would NEVER happen. We would never have to worry about being killed.
Some didnt believe them and asked to go to segregation. Others just continued playing their chess games, and laughed at the dumb questions.
After about a month, things quieted down. We had fewer and fewer drills. And I got a job working as the unit janitor. But the thing that got me, was how I felt on the day.
It was confusion. I had no idea why anyone wanted to do that to our country. I wasnt very patriotic before I went to prison, and I am even less now. But I love my country. I am not a follower of its insanity, but I do love being here.
We are not the only free country in the world. We are not the only rich country in the world. But we are the only country that I call home. Yes, it is a mess. It is a lie to say that we dont have issues, but not a lie to say we can fix them.
I didnt know anyone in New York at the time. But I do feel for our loss. We are not stronger because of it, we are actually more divided.
Being a christian I do not see this as my "home". Yes, I love it here and I wont change that, but the Almighty gave me the ability , and you the ability to make it here what we can. I am waiting for my next home. The spiritual one. But until then, I hope America continues to help those in need and to be the light to the world. But I am afraid it will be short lived.
Thank you for reading my 9-11 story. I may not have lost anyone personally on that day, but as a country we lost a lot together.
:)