If I become rich, I'm going to hire 10 midgets to follow me around ... with under-sized, but semi-functional, violins ... trained to play only tinny, satirical and cheap little ditties ... on demand ... when I exclaim, "this is how I feel about YOUR problem", the midgets pop out and begin playing ...
If I become rich, I will work with scientists to become 40 feet tall, and to weigh 4 or 5 tons ... all muscle ... including the extremely undersized and now non-functional heart. My heart would be replaced with a diesel powered back-pack blood pumping and cleaning and feeding system ... food would no longer work for me ... my penis simply fell off ... but now I'm 40 feet tall and weigh about 5 tons ... it would start as simple juicing ... steroids ... human growth hormone ... elephant semen ... crocodile feces ... blix'ing ... I would use all of these to become super strong ... when, and if, I become rich. (and then I'll do lots of meth)
If I become rich, I will build a submersible high-speed super-ship for piracy and other shit ... I would sail across the Puget Sound, looking for douches and other scum to rip off ... my crew would be hearty and strong ... all woman crew ... a lesbian cohort for storming the ships and murdering the men ... boy ... if only I could become rich.
If I become rich, well, I will live on the top of a mountain ... cable gondolas bringing me food and women each day ... and weed and fresh water ... and clothes ... all to the top of the mountain.
Of course, I could keep going ...
But I'd like to know what you'd do if YOU became rich?