This is going to sound narcissistic or maybe anti-narcissistic, but I came to the realization a couple weeks ago that was probably not special. That doesn't mean that I am not valuable or important to people, but that maybe I am not meant for some higher purpose. It kind of released some of the stress of trying to define my purpose and who know I might find it when I am not looking for it. I understood that it maybe my purpose it just to live and be happy, not something be something I am not.