This is actually an article about me, I know it. Are you hiding a documentary crew somewhere. Have a voice over of Richard Attenborough speaking of the majestic beast as he walks to the copier only to foiled by a paper jam.

I got caught in this cycle. I was taught, right wrong of otherwise, by my father the value of hard work and dedication to your work. I placed so much self value in my job and my career, that it drove my whole internal system of self worth. It is what gave me purpose. That illusion fell apart last year. To not bore anyone with the silly back story, I will keep it short. I didn’t get the job that I was working to get and the company chose a lesser qualified candidate. It destroyed me, I was broken. This was what I thought I was supposed to be. I was going to be important. I even went through some of the stages of grief, over a job.

What came out of that though, once I made it out the other side that my structure for giving my life purpose and self worth as a like fucked up. I wasn’t focused on the important stuff, like simply myself. I built a shrine to this one pillar in my life and fortified it while neglecting then others. When that pillar failed the others were not strong enough to sustain. The whole house of cards collapsed on itself.