Gasps and exclamations erupted around us in the church auditorium. I’m sure I could hear an expletive or two.
“He’s Sean!” “It’s Sean!” “Dr. Miller is Sean” the people were saying.
Sean and I ignored all that was happening around us as we continued to stare at each other. His professional demeanor clearly slipping by the second. I continued to stare blankly, trying my best to shutdown all emotions.
“I’m her father! She deserves to know that her father is alive and well!” He shouted, startling the crowd to silence.
“Oh so now you’re ready to acknowledge that you know me and that I was talking about you all this time? Did it give you some kind of kick to hear about all the men I’ve been fucking or how I fuck myself every night? You are a sick perverted fuck,” I said with way more calm than I was feeling.
His hands were balled in a fist as he wrestled with keeping his professional demeanor and letting go of the anger he felt. “She’s my child too, Cleo!” He shouted again.
I didn’t flinch. I continued to look at him and a mirthless laugh escaped my lips, “You have some mother fucking pussyclaat nerve! If you think you bad come within a hundred feet of me pickni, and I swear we will meet on the battlefield in front of the raasclaat judge!” Yes, I lost the control and calm I had perfected over the years and now I was really shouting. Nobody will hurt my baby. “Just fucking try mi mother fucker! Mi bomboclaat double dare Yu!” I forgot in that moment where I was, in a CHURCH auditorium and I was shouting. I forgot my professional self. I’ve been taunted way worse in court and I never lost my cool; but this man still held my kryptonite. How dare he lay claim to my baby?! When I think about how I struggled to carry her; how I could have gone into premature labor and could have lost her because of what he put me through my eyes filled with tears. If he dared, I would fight him to the death, I was not going to let him near my Jazmine.
His eyes widened at my vehemence. He was so angry I think he forgot where he was too. I’ve never seen angry Sean, he was always so calm and controlled but what I told Jaz really struck a cord. He was totally out of the zone of doctor/patient. I guess me hating him he could handle but he couldn’t handle the thought of his own child hating him too. His soft brown eyes literally froze over. If I wasn’t as angry as he was I probably would have cowered and taken several steps back but I stood my ground.
“You cannot keep me away from her forever! I deserve a chance to get to know her! I didn’t even know you were fucking pregnant!” He grabbed his chair and threw it behind him with such force it went crashing into the wall. Loud gasps erupted around the room. I didn’t flinch. I’m sure this was the most intense meeting the members have had yet; and I’m sure they were enjoying the show.
“And you still don’t! In fact, you don’t know us because I sure as hell don’t know who the fuck you are!” This is quickly spiraling out of control.
“Doctor Miller, Cleo, you guys should stop. I think you guys can find a better way to deal with what happened between you two,” a strange voice said calmly. This was an older woman. She was short and wore black rimmed glasses, her gray processed hair hung in a bob around her face. Her name tag read ‘Margaret’.
“It’s true,” Mary chimed in.
“You guys did such a good job hiding the fact that you knew each other while Cleo spoke, you had us all fooled.” Margaret continued.
I was angry with myself for letting go of my control. I worked so hard at being the master of my emotions over the years.
“Dr. Miller, you have been here helping us for the pass few weeks and a lot of us owe you a debt of gratitude for how much better we are doing, for how we’ve improved”, she said directly to Sean. “You look like you’ve been through some stuff too and we’re here for you, to listen to you.” Sean closed his eyes and took several deep breaths trying to calm the rage in him.
“And Cleopatra,” she turned to me with such kind eyes and her voice was quiet but authoritative, “I know you’ve been through a lot, and yes many of us shunned you at first or were very skeptical and downright hypocritical!” She looked around the room at the faces, now not so condemning. “But he made us sit and listen. I think you should listen to him. He has some explaining to do.”
I stood there looking from her to Sean, trying to get a hold of my emotions that had escaped my control. The tears started to roll down my face. Sean looked at me with a pained expression, the ice thawing from his eyes at the sight of my tears or maybe at the words of his patient. He visibly tried to calm himself.
“Fine, I can listen, but I don’t know that it will make much of a difference…”
“Give him a chance,” she cut me off. The truth is I was afraid to hear what happened. My mind played so many scenarios throughout the years. The picture of him smiling down at the pretty senator’s daughter never left my mind. It was more than a dagger in my heart. To now hear him talk about it was going to make it way too real. I wanted to hold my Jazzy. She gave me such comfort amidst the turmoil that whirled in me.
“Ladies and gentlemen, I do apologize sincerely for my outburst. It was very unprofessional of me. Maybe we should call it a night.” Sean said to the group. He was back to cool professional Dr. Miller.
“Dr. Miller please,” Margaret said. You need to talk about this. She’s here, and its obvious you are hurting.” I could see the war raging in his eyes as he looked at me. I angrily dashed the tears streaming down my face and he sighed heavily.
“Cleo, please have a seat,” she said. My seat was positioned between Janet and Mary. I sat heavily and hung my head trying to get my tears under control.
“Cleopatra, will you look at me please?” Sean said quietly. I pretended not to hear him. “Please.” He pleaded. When I looked at him my eyes were red and swollen, but I had managed to stem the flow of my tears. I knew he could see through my soul at that point. I couldn’t hide it any longer. The mask had slipped completely away, my breathing heavy.
“I’m so so so sorry for what I put you through.” He spoke across the distance of the circle.
“Maybe you should start by explaining what happened after you left her those years ago, Dr. Miller,” Margaret said quietly.
He sighed heavily at that. “Shit happened, Cleo and I…” he broke off and looked to the heavens for help. “Fuck,” he whispered under his breath.
I looked at him. A coldness was coming over me as I remembered how I felt when he ghosted me and the deep anguish when I got the photo. When I thought about the fact that he was going to go home to his pretty little wife and hold her in his arms and kiss her with the lips that I longed for, I knew I couldn’t stay, “I can’t do this!” I said suddenly as I stood quickly and moved toward the exit.
“Cleo, please!” He pleaded.
I didn’t look back, I kept walking as the tears started running again. I need to hold my Jazzy. She was with Pat and Chris, who I told I was working late. Tears blurred my vision as I made my way to their house. I could not help the sobs that rocked my body as I sped through the streets.
When I pulled into the driveway Jazmine was obviously waiting for me because she ran to the window and looked out waving happily. I forced a smile and waved back, I couldn’t let her see me like this. I called Pat’s cellphone.
“Why don’t you come inside and get your child, miss?” She asked on answering the phone.
“P, can you come outside, please?” I almost choked on my sobs. She didn’t respond she hung up and rand outside to my car trying not to make Jaz curious.
She flew the passenger side of the car open and sat on the soft cushion of my black Audi Q7. “Cleo what happ…”, I cut her off and reached over hugging her tightly as the sobs rocked my body. “C, you’re scaring me. Did something happen at work?”
I shook my head because it was impossible for words to get pass my throat at that point. After a few minutes of me crying hysterically and her rocking me. My hair now loose from its bun was a big mess of curls clinging to my face and neck, and I was no longer wearing my jacket. “It’s ok, C”.
I could finally get pass the lump in my throat. “I went to a therapy session this evening. I needed to deal with this constant need I have to have sex. It’s as if I’m addicted to it and I’ve been trying to find that high that he gave me”. I didn’t need to say his name for Pat to know I was talking about Sean. She sighed.
“This morning Jaz asked me about her dad and if that’s why I cry in my bed at nights,” I continued. “That really broke my heart, Pat. To be honest, I do cry sometime because I miss him so much but sometimes I have dreams about him and my orgasms are so heavenly that I wake from my sleep crying out his name. I forget everyone and everything around me. I didn’t know what to say to Jaz, so I told her he’s dead.”
“Cleo!” Pat gasped.
“Yea, yea I know. In retrospect I shouldn’t have, but what choice did I have? You saw what I went through and I almost lost my baby because of it!” The tears started running again.
Pat held me back from her, “It’s going to be ok, C. You know that right?”
“I wish…” I whispered and looked away from her. “When I went to the church…”
“A church?!” Pat exclaimed seriously.
“Yea the pastor for the church asked a psychiatrist to have these therapy sessions for his members who were struggling with various issues. I saw the flier when I went to meet a client and I thought it would be a good opportunity to talk about what I was going through,” Pat listened quietly as I went on. “When I walked into the church auditorium, I saw him,” my voice was so quiet Pat barely heard the words and I saw the shock register on her face.
“Sean?!” He eyes widened.
“Yea, he was the psychiatrist doing the sessions…”
“What the fuck?! Please tell me you left!” Pat demanded.
“That’s just it P, I didn’t leave. I stayed and talked about everything. How we met, when he left, my pregnancy, Jaz…”
At Jaz’s name Pat gasped loudly. “Oh fuck! You know he’s going to want to see her right?.”
“He has no right to her!” I shouted so loudly it permeated the small space of the car. “Pat, that little girl is the only reason I want to get out of bed in the mornings. She is my whole world. She is the balm that soothes my soul daily.” I looked toward the house at that point and saw Jaz looking through the window. She was obviously wondering why I was still outside. Chris must have said something to her because she moved away from the window and the door opened and Chris dressed in white v-necks and a pair or jogging shorts, held her hand and they walked together toward the car. I quickly wiped my face but I was unable to hide the redness and puffiness of my eyes.
“Hey, Jazzy is worried. Wah happen to…” He stopped short when he saw my face. “A wah happen? You hurt?” He asked worriedly.
At that, Jazmine grabbed the driver door handle and pulled. “Mommy!” She cried. I opened my door careful not to hit her and leaned down and hoisted her into my lap. Her little hands held my face as soon as she landed in my lap and she stared into my eyes with perception and the purest love and concern that it broke my heart and my tears started again. “Mommy-poo what’s wrong?” She asked quietly.
“Nothing’s wrong, baby. Mommy just had a long day” I said trying to stop my tears as I placed my forehead against hers.
“Is it because I asked about my daddy, mommy? Is this my fault? Are you crying because of me?” Her small voice asked. Her brown eyes bore into mine and I hugged her little body to mine. She was tense.
“No, no, Jazzy-poo! Mommy is ok. And you can ask me anything any time, about anybody ok? Mommy just had a reeeeeeeealy long day”. I said hugging and shaking her. Her body relaxed a bit and she hugged me back and smiled. “And guess what? We’re gonna have a sleep over tonight. Would you like that?”
“Yaaaaay!” She said excitedly her worry momentarily forgotten. “Can I sleep with you tonight?” She asked unexpectedly.
“Of course! You can even sleep between uncle Chris and Aunty Pat!”
“No way! Uncle Chris snores!” She shouted giggling.
“Hey! Whoa! Mi nu snore!” Chris chimed in with a smile for Jaz’s sake but I could see the concern in his eyes.
“You’re right Jazzy Wazzy! He does snore!” Pat jumped in lightening the mood further. “Come on lets go take a bath so you can wear the new Princess Elsa Pjs I bought you!”
“Ok!” She reached across to Pat but stopped. “Mommy are you coming?”
“Yes baby, I’m right behind you” I said grabbing my handbag so she could see I was preparing to exit the car.
She wrapped her arms and legs around Pat and they walked into the house leaving Chris’s and I.
“A wah really a gwaan C?” He asked. He wasn’t one to use English all the time, only if the need arose.
“I saw Sean tonight.” I said calmly looking at him. I was still watching Pat as she carried Jaz inside the house. Chris stood leaning over the passenger side of the car.
“Raas, mi know this did ago happen enu.” He said on a sigh.
That caught my full attention and I turned to him.”What you mean?”
“Him stop by the ends a few weeks ago and asked about you. Apparently he’s been searching up and dung fi Yu. Mi affi ask him if him really think it fair to Yu fi pop up inna Yu life so after all this time. Mi tell him me sorry but me cyah help him.”
“Were you ever going to tell me or Pat?” I asked quietly.
“No.” He said it immediately as if that should have been a rhetorical question. “You’ve been through a whole eep a dawg shit C, I wasn’t going to add to that. I don’t think Pat and I should get involved. We’ll support you, but getting involved is a no.” He said straightening.
“Whatever happened between you and Sean, is for you and Sean to deal with. If you don’t wah touch it fine, if you wah touch it, fine too; but we got you and Jaz.” He said sincerely. By the way, Yu need fi come go in to that likkle pickni before she have a stroke. Mi neva see a pickni fi watch har mother so! Jeez!” He rolled his eyes smiling.
I smiled too because I was happy to have them and my Jazzy was cherry on top. I grabbed my bag and jacket and exited the car. “Yo, thanks,” I said to Chris as we waked up the driveway.
He took my handbag with one hand and threw his other arm around my shoulder. “Nu say nuttn sis.”
My Jazmine was way too perceptive for her age. It’s as if she knew there was something wrong. That night in bed she hugged and threw her leg over me as if she was keeping me close to her. I stared up at the ceiling while I hugged her little body close to assure her I wasn’t going anywhere. I hated that she saw me crying. She became a little happier after her bath and I read her a story, but I could see the worry in her eyes. I swear you could switch her face with Sean’s and no one would know the difference.
Sean…his face swam before my eyes and my body the betrayer started reacting, mouth dry, nipples tightening and pussy clenching and jumping. My body wanted to fuck him. My body craved those hands, those lips and that sweet cocky that could bring me pleasure beyond my imagination. He’s as handsome as I remember, nothing had changed, if anything he looked more delicious. My mind saw the photo of his sweet smile so much like Jazmine’s smiling into his now wife’s face and my heart…what did my heart see? I didn’t want to go there. I could feel the ice block melting away but I refused to acknowledge that this man really held the key to my everything. His lips descending on mine in that soft yet passionate way was the last thing I saw before my eyes drifted closed and I dosed off into a troubled sleep.
Jaz was groaning in her sleep. Her thrashing and painful groans jolted me out of my sleep. My mommy instincts quickly kicked in and I flicked on the night lamp. She was covered in sweat, her eyes closed and face scrunched in pain.
“Baby? Jazzy what’s wrong?” I asked lifting her little body unto my lap. Her body was hot. She didn’t open her eyes she just kept groaning.
“Mommy…” she cried.
“Mommy’s here. What’s wrong baby? Where hurts?”
Before she could respond she was throwing up the contents of her stomach. “It hurts!!!” She cried. And she started retching again. I immediately reached for my cell phone and dialed the number for the ambulance. I quickly explained her symptoms and gave them Pat’s address. I held her hair back as her body heaved and heaved emptying bile on the floor.
“Where hurts Jaz?” I asked brushing her hair back from her now drenching wet face. The panic started rising in me when her eyes rolled over and she passed out.
“Pat! Chris!” I ran from the room clutching her to my chest.
Pat and Chris both ran from their room in response to my loud call. “What happened?!” Pat asked in sleepy confusion while she tied the knot of her robe.
“She passed out!” I screamed. “She was vomiting and crying for pain!” I cried.
“What?!” Chris grabbed Jaz’s limp body from my arms. “She a burn up! You call the ambulance?!” He said with a panicked look on his face. As if on queue the ambulance sirens announced its arrival. Pat flew the door open and Chris and I ran out to the ambulance with Jaz in his arms.
The paramedic immediately took Jaz and started hooking her up to iv lines and asking what her symptoms were. They put cold packs on her forehead and around her body and started her on fluids as I explained her symptoms. “Miss Lawrence we have to get her to the hospital right now. Her heart rate is falling.” The paramedic said as his assistant continued to attend to my baby in the back of the ambulance. Barefooted and dressed in skimpy shorts and a tank top I climbed into the back of the ambulance tears streaming down my face.
“We’ll follow!” Pat shouted to me as the medic closed the ambulance door and they prepared to leave. In the short ride from Pat’s house to the hospital, I don’t remember if I’ve ever prayed so much in my life.
Our arrival at the hospital passed in a blur as the doctors crowded Jaz and they took her for scans and X-rays to determine what was happening in her body. I remember the total numbness when the doctor said they had to take Jazmine into emergency surgery as her appendix was swollen and on the verge of rupturing. I fell to my knees crying in anguish in the almost empty hospital hall.
There were very few people milling about in the accident and emergency section of the hospital. Pat and Chris found me sobbing on my knees when they ran into the hospital. “C, what happened? Where is she?” Chris asked as he lifted me off the floor. Through the haze of my tears, I could see Pat’s eyes were red with tears too. I know they were thinking the worse. “They took her into emergency surgery” I said between sobs. “Her appendix is about to rupture.”
“She’s going to be ok!” Chris said as he hugged me to him. “We have to believe that!” None of us wanted to believe what could possibly go wrong.
They ushered me into a small waiting area and I sat between them with my head in Pat’s lap crying softly and praying. We were alone in the room waiting to hear news from the doctors.
“Cleopatra.” I probably smelled his signature Burberry scent before I heard him. I refused to acknowledge that he was actually there. There was no way he could possibly be there.
“C, Sean’s here,” Pat whispered as she brushed my hair back.
“I called him,” Chris said softly. I didn’t acknowledge either of them speaking because my mind could not move pass the haze of my baby being sick and him being here. My tears started to flow more. Loud sobs rocked my body as I thought of the worse outcome of the night. I was in such a haze I didn’t feel myself being lifted from Pat’s lap and clasped to his broad, strong chest. I didn’t care about anything except the fact that my baby was in surgery. I wrapped my arms around his neck, placed my face in his neck and wept without pride. He sat rocking me in his lap as I cried from the depths of my soul.
When I calmed down enough to open my eyes, I realized we were alone in the waiting area. Pat and Chris had disappeared. “Cleo, your heart is beating at a very rapid rate,” he whispered. ”Please have some water and take some deep breaths.” He leaned forward and grabbed a bottled water from the center table, opened it and held it to my lips. I didn’t have the energy to fight him. I drank a little and I took a few deep breaths trying to calm myself. I wondered vaguely if this was Dr. Miller or my sweet caring beast. He kissed my temple like he always did. That tender gesture that always melted my heart. I shivered a little maybe from the cold, maybe from being in his arms or maybe from fear. I couldn’t tell in that moment.
“Are you cold?” He asked instinctively and drew me closer to him. “You’re barely wearing anything”, he said. He saw the imprint of one nipple through my white tank top, his eyes traversed my exposed legs and butt cheeks. I snuggled closer into him trying to get my heart rate under control and take comfort in his warmth while I pictured my baby’s smile.
“Ms. Lawrence?” A average height dark skinned doctor with kind eyes came into the room and asked. I quickly jumped from Sean’s lap and ran to him .
“Yes. How’s she?” I asked frantically. I know I must look a mess. I didn’t care.
“She actually did pretty good. We caught the appendix before it ruptured and she’s out of surgery and now in recovery.” The doctor smiled at me his dimple popping. “I’m Dr. Ranger by the way,” he extended his hand and I took it.
“Thank you so much!” I was so happy I almost hugged the doctor. “Can I see her, please?” I asked quickly. I needed to see her for myself.
“You can see her for just a minute. People are not usually allowed in the recovery area.” He actually looked from my head to my bare feet. I didn’t notice, but the beast did and he stepped in.
“We only need a minute to see her,” he said directly to the doctor. He didn’t introduce himself to the doctor as Jaz’s father.
“Sure. Follow me.”
She was still under heavy anesthesia and hooked up to all sorts of monitors and iv lines. I went over and kissed her forehead quickly while a nurse took her vital signs.
I caught the look of surprise on Sean’s face and heard his indrawn breath when he caught his first glimpse of Jazmine Alexia, his mirror image. I could not explain the look in his eyes as he stared down at her then he turned to the doctor and started asking about what kind of medicine she was getting among other things. He exchanged cellphone numbers with the doctor and told him to call him immediately when she was awake. He was using medical jargons that I didn’t understand. I didn’t care. I was just so happy that she was out and she would be ok.
We found Pat and Chris in the lobby on our way out and we told them what the doctor said. Pat’s eyes were as puffy as mine. She hugged me to her and I told her thanks for being here.
“Cleo, you’re coming home with me. We can shower, rest and come back as early as possible,”Sean announced looking at me from head to bare feet.
“No, there’s no need for that. I can go with Pat and Chris.
“Pat pulled me aside and whispered, “C, I love you but even Superwoman needs Superman sometimes. I will have court in a few hours and Chris is traveling. I’ll come here after court but until then you need him, you need support.”
Before I could respond to Pat he scooped me up like a child in his arms and walked through the hospital doors. “This is really not necessary, Sean. I can at least walk.”
“Cleo, you’re not wearing any shoes and you’re barely wearing clothes I’m tired of people ogling you in the skimpy clothes you’re wearing,” he said gruffly and possessively.
I forgot that I was still wearing my night clothes and no shoes and immediately became self-conscious.
The ride to his house in his black Range Rover was quiet, neither of us saying a word. This was the same house where we first met, and made love. I was lost in my own thoughts and I guess so was he. Again he didn’t allow me to walk, he carried me in his arms from the car to the door. This has been one of the longest nights I’ve ever experienced. I didn’t want to think anymore. A part of my mind was screaming that I was in a married man’s house, but another part screamed louder that this beast was my kryptonite and I couldn’t do a damn thing about it.
“Would you like something to drink? Some tea perhaps?” He asked.
“No, thank you. I’d just like to shower and lie down”. I went to the bathroom and stripped. Everything was just as I remembered it. Every painting, potted plant and towel in the exact place. I stepped into the shower and allowed the warm water to cascade over me. As the events of the entire night surfaced so did my tears. I sobbed uncontrollably.
I didn’t hear him enter. He stood behind me in the shower and held my back to his front, kissing my hair, while the sobs rocked my shoulders.
“It’s ok, baby,” he whispered. I really wished this was all real and I was really his baby, but I basked in his comfort anyway. My body the betrayer could feel every inch of his as he pressed my back to him. My body knew every inch of his body without me seeing it. I could feel every cantor, every muscle and sinew. His dick rose and tapped my back as he gently rubbed my arms up and down. He wasn’t touching me in a sexual way but I wanted him as much as his dick was saying he wanted me. In spite of his arousal he didn’t kiss or touch me in any way suggestive, he allowed me to cry and take comfort in his arm. I reached for the body wash to wash myself after my sobs died down and he took it from my hands. “Let me” he said. And I knew he was hanging tight to his iron clad control.
He bathed me in silence and I didn’t protest. This was by far the sweetest thing he had ever done to me and in that moment I knew that I loved this man. Married or not, I loved him and I wanted him.
“Your eyes are swollen, C,” he whispered as he towel dried my body. He attempted to kiss my forehead and I held my head up to look at him and the kiss landed on the corner of my lips. Our eyes locked for a moment. “Oh fuck it!” He said and claimed my lips in the sweetest kiss I’ve had in a long time. I didn’t fight him because I don’t think I had any fight left in me for the night. I needed this. I needed him. He hoisted me in his arms and I wrapped my hands around his neck as he deepened the kiss and walked to the master bedroom.
He gently laid me down and his body followed mine pressing me into the mattress. “Cleo…I’m so so sorry…” he started but I cut him off.
“Shhh,” I put my finger on his lips and he took my finger in his mouth and sucked hard. It was so erotic, I moaned loudly.
He swallowed my moan with his lips as they covered mine. His tongue plunging into the depths of my mouth. He bit my lips and placed tiny bits on my neck and earlobe as he ventured lower to my mounds. He drew one tip into his mouth and groaned as he’s reminded that my nipples were my number one spot. He wasted no time nipping and blowing the tips and sucking hard at each mound simultaneously. I arched my body off the bed and into his as my climax mounted. His hands were freely roaming my body and moaning with pleasure as he noticed the various changes. My body had matured into womanhood after giving birth to his child.
On the verge of my impending climax he positioned his dick at the opening of my slippery wet pussy, he looked in my eyes and harshly said, “Throw away that fucking vibrator!” He slid slowly into me, my mouth opened but no sound came out and he covered my lips with his.
“Oh I so fucking missed you!” He grunted in my ear. “My Cleopatra, you are like my life spring, the air that I breathe. Baby, all I see is you even when I’m not with you. I don’t care what you or anyone says you’re my destiny.” He moved in and it of me slowly and deliberately. It felt so good that tears sprang to my eyes unwarranted. I knew he was holding back and I didn’t want him to. I wanted him to give me every inch of that sweet dick. He thrust half way and then pulled back.
“Sean, please…” I begged on a gasp.
“Tell me what you want, Cleopatra!” He said as he continued to torment me.
“I want YOU dammit!”I cried in frustration. I felt like this was some kind of punishment.
“But I’m right here. Tell me what you want Cleo!” He stopped his motion.
“I want you to fuck me hard! Stop treating me like a fucking China doll!” I said loudly slapping his chest as I did so.
“As you wish,” he said calmly, however, his actions were everything but calm as he flipped me over on all fours and slammed into me. This time there was no holding back my screams and moans. He continued slamming in and out of me as I clung to the sheets. My orgasms were countless and each time one subsided he flicked me in a different position, sideways, on top, one leg on is shoulder, both legs on his shoulders. I lost count of how many times I came. I sat on the top of that rainbow refusing to feel anything else but the sheer pleasure of him, Sean, my beast, fucking me the way I needed to be fucked. He got me muttering gibberish when I hit my highs. I finally found the high I was searching for these past years and it was deliciously magnificent. This man knew my body so well, he was like the king of my cum. He controlled my body’s every reaction. I was like the perfect puppet on his dick.
“Ahhh!!!” He groaned loudly in pleasure as his climax gripped him and sent him spilling and filling my pussy and lubricating my cervix.
As I lay spent in his arms, I could see the first rays of the rising sun coming through the curtain casting a glow on our tangled bodies. I was emotionally and physically exhausted, I fell into a deep sleep on Sean’s chest.
‘Mommy it hurts!’ I could hear Jazmine’s cry for pain and hear her retching and I sat upright out of my sleep calling her name. “Jaz!”
“Hey Cleo. You’re having a bad dream. It’s ok, baby,” Sean’s voice was soothing. I clung to him as I remembered my ordeal just hours ago.
“We need to go to the hospital!” I said quickly pushing away from him. I didn’t want to confront what happened between us and the fact that I was naked in his bed.
“I already called the hospital and checked on her. She woke up from the anesthesia but she’s still in a little pain and groggy from the painkillers,” he informed me.
I was angry for some reason. “Why didn’t you wake me? I should have been the one to call!” I was almost shouting.
‘Cleo, relax. I had the doctor’s direct contact, so I called him to check. It’s no big deal. And whether you want to hear it or accept it, she’s my child too.” He said looking at me with a serious expression. He was dressed in sweat bottoms and no shirt showing off his beautiful chest. His happy trail was visible as his sweat bottoms hung low on his waist. I had a feeling he was not wearing anything under that. I felt my body starting to react and I tried for anger before it could react any further.
“Sean, fuck you! I’m not having this conversation with you again! She’s MY BABY!”
“Yes, and you BOTH belong to me!” He shouted.
“We are not chattel Sean! She is not yours! Why don’t you go back to your pretty little rich wife and leave us alone?! Where is she anyway?! She know your dick spend the night inside a me? Why the fuck did you come back here anyway?! Seven bombo raasclaat years and you think you can waltz back inna mi life like nothing happened! We don’t need you! We are doing fine by ourselves!” I was shouting.
“Let’s get something straight Sean, me fuck yu fi di same reason me fuck any other man, because me pussy need a good fuck! Yu nah do nuttn weh another man cyah do! You think this change anything?! I don’t want you, Sean! Ah just yu cocky mi want!” All the pain and hurt that I tried to dumb down surfaced like kerosene on a small fire. I exploded like a ball of naked fire.
His face became a mask of pure anger. The same anger I saw in the church, the one that would have made me cower were I not so angry with him myself. This mother fucker had the nerve to be angry with me, I thought to myself.
In one swift move I was under him and he claimed my lips in a punishing kiss. My mind was furious and screaming but my body was reacting. I tried to push him off. Hitting him with all my might. But instead of stopping he deepened the kiss. Biting at my lower lips, he used one of his hands to hold both of mine above my head. And the other cupped my breasts pulling at the nipples roughly. I tried not to react, kicking at him, but he pressed my body into the mattress suppressing my movements. His lips left mine and bit each nipple roughly sending a shock wave straight to my pussy.
“Fuck you, Sean… ” I moaned. I could feel the fight leaving my body. I was helpless to his touch. This mother fucker knew what he was doing to me. His free hand left my breasts and moved across my flat stomach and even further cupping my pussy while his thumb circled my clit and his middle finger entered my moist, hot sanctuary.
“Which one a dem fucker deh coulda touch you like this, Cleopatra?” He asked sneering. He was angry. I could feel his anger through his punishing yet skillful touch. I continued bucking under him, trying to get him off me but it was no use. He freed his dick with his free hand and grabbed one of my legs bending it at the knee upward and spreading my leg opening my pussy to him for the taking. With one massive thrust he slammed into me.
“Ahhhhh!!!!!” I scream moaned. It was a moan and a scream all in one.
“Dem coulda fuck you like this?” He sneered again, his jealousy apparent. In deep and all the way out, he continued to assault my pussy. “Answer me!” He shouted. “Any of them coulda make yu pussy run like river over dem cocky? Or make you siddung high pan storm clouds until yu showers burst from the center of yu soul like a fucking hurricane? Tell me which raasclaat one a dem can make you scream and shake like you body a go through a fucking winter storm? Well guess what, baby? The owner fi da pussy ya come back and mi intend fi live inna it like a bloodclaat apartment.” His lips were so close to my ear I could hear the enunciation of every syllable through his wrath as he slammed hard in and out of me.
Oh my god, why was I so turned on by his words. His description of how he controlled my body was on point and it was hot. His words brought me closer to that sweet place of extreme pleasure. I was whimpering. All the fight left me, as the pleasure bubble grew bigger and bigger with each stroke of his sweet dick.
“You belong to me! Don’t you ever fucking forget that! Dare to fuck another man, Cleopatra. In your own words, Mi bomboclaat double dare Yu.” He said this very calmly holding firm to his control. He made one last thrust so deep I swear I could feel him touching my intestines. He knew I was about to cum. He could feel the clenching of my muscles around his cock and he stopped and eased out of me, got up and walked out of the room without a backward glance; visibly trying to reign in his anger. My taunts pushed him over the edge and he took revenge the way he knew would impact me most. Angry Sean was not to be played with.
Frustration unfurled deep within me as I punched the pillows. “You are a pompous raasclaat jackass!!! I hate you, Sean!” I screamed as tears pooled in my eyes. My body needed that release and even if I had access to my vibrator it could not give me what I craved. My body craved him.
After what happened in the morning we didn’t say another word to each other, though we could each feel the tension between us. He took me to my house to pick up some stuff for Jazmine and change my clothes. I was mostly worried about Jazmine’s first encounter with him. It was going to be difficult to explain to her who he was, but he was adamant that he was going to see his daughter today.
When we walked into the hospital we met the doctor making his rounds before heading to Jazmine’s room. He addressed Sean as Dr. Miller and gave us a thorough update on Jaz. I couldn’t help but notice how the doctor kept eyeing me. He probably didn’t think Sean and I were together. I was dressed in skinny jeans that hugged my hips and butt and blouse that accentuated my breasts. My curly hair was left undone and flowing down my back with a scarf around it. Sean eyed me with pleasure, but he didn’t comment. I guess he loved my transformation. He was dressed in his usual black v neck T shirt, black jeans and boots. The doctors eyes slowly traveled up and down my body while he spoke to Sean.
“Dr. Ranger, I would suggest you keep your eyes off my woman and concentrate on the proper care of my daughter,” he said calmly, almost nonchalantly, but his eyes spoke volumes and I could feel the tension radiating from his body. His woman? What the fuck?! I was so embarrassed, I didn’t want to create a scene so I didn’t say anything I just wanted to see Jaz.
The doctor quickly caught himself and it was strictly professionalism after that. In fact, he didn’t speak directly to me after that. “Why would you embarrass me like that?!” I whispered furiously on our walk to find Jazmine’s room. “You have no right! You are such an arrogant piece of shit! What if I were interested in him?!”
“Obviously I didn’t make myself clear enough this morning. Maybe I need to reiterate my point to you again later.” He said with calm authority without looking at me. He kept looking straight ahead. I knew that calm, but jabbed at the beast anyway.
“Well maybe your wife needs to be there when you’re doing that!,” I taunted him in a whisper, the public space made me super brave. I didn’t want people passing by to hear our banter. He stiffened visibly but he kept moving, close enough but without touching me. I knew very well what angry Sean was capable of.
When we reached Jaz’s room, I gasped when I saw my baby’s little body under the covers, oxygen in her nostrils, iv lines attached to both hands and a heart monitor to her chest. She was sleeping. I walked quickly over and kissed her forehead and her big brown eyes, so much like her father’s fluttered open.
“Mommy-poo.” She said weakly.
“Hey baby. Mommy’s here now. Are you in any pain?” I asked her, concern etched on my face.
“Not a lot,” she said quietly. “Where were you mommy? I missed you when I woke up.”
“You had to do a surgery last night baby and I could only see you for a short time when you were still asleep.” I said rubbing the back of my hand across her cheek. The time was now. It was time to introduce her to her father.
“Jazzy-poo, there’s someone here who wants to meet you.”
Her baby brows furrowed a little trying to think who it could be. Sean walked into the room and into her focus and they stared at each other for what seemed like an eternity.
Jazmine’s face lit up with a bright smile. “You’re my daddy,”she said in her small voice. “You look like me,” she said, wonder in her tiny voice.
Sean and I both gasped at the same time. He knelt by her bed and held her hand and she squeezed his weakly.
“I’m happy you’re here. My mommy doesn’t have to be sad any more,” she said then she drifted off into sleep.
I covered my face at Jazmine’s revelation. This little girl was the carbon copy of her father, it was unbelievable. The look on Sean’s face in that moment spoke volumes, it was priceless. He wanted to be a part of his daughter’s life and I doubt there was anything I could do to stop him. He knelt by her bed and just stared and stared at her. I guess he couldn’t believe he made such a beautiful human being.
When Pat walked into the room later that day he was in the same kneeling position watching Jazmine sleep while I stared through the window of her room
“How is she?” Pat asked when she walked in her hand filled with gifts for Jaz.
“Still very sleepy, but she’s not in much pain,” I whispered my answer not wanting to disturb Jaz.
Pat looked puzzled at Sean kneeling by Jazmine’s bed and looked at me questioningly. I shrugged. He didn’t acknowledge her, he kept staring at Jazmine. She placed the stuff on the bedside table and motioned for us to step outside.
“Should I ask?” Was the first thing she said when we were out of earshot.
“P, I can’t explain the look on Sean’s face when he looked at Jaz,” I said as I held my temples. I could feel a tension headache building. “He’s been in that position since the moment she saw him. That little girl knew the moment she saw him that he was her father.”
“She wasn’t curious? I mean you did tell her he’s dead.”
“No, she looked up and said, ‘you’re my daddy you look like me. And I’m happy you’re here now so my mommy doesn’t have to be sad anymore.’ P, my baby has been carrying my burden all this time.”
My heart ached. I tried my best to shield Jazmine from my turmoil but she was just too much like Sean, quiet and observant.
“Well she cyah hide enu Cleo. That little girl is stamp and plate of that man. I’m surprised she knew right away, though.”
“You’re telling me?! I couldn’t say a word! It was as if I was standing outside of their world once their eyes locked.” I whined. “P, she’s my baby! We’ve been through so much. He cant just come and replace me for her!” I was jealous and sounded like a petulant child.
“Cleo stop the shit! You are Jaz’s world! The baby is happy to meet her father. I’m not excusing what he did but what’s between you two has nothing to do with her.”
“I know,” I sighed.
“By the way, did he fuck you? Cause me know you in need of some good sex. It’s been a while,” Pat said bluntly.
“Patricia!” I exclaimed embarrassed.
“What?! I know you need some good cocky C! The vibrator nah cut it!” Pat laughed.
“P, the man know him way round a pussy! Trust me, di man can fuck! That fucking man had me forgetting how mad I am at him and had me almost whimpering at his feet begging for more.” My nipples and pussy tightened simultaneously as I remembered this morning.
“P, do you know why people become addicted to drugs? Shit like this! I’m addicted to his dick and his tongue and hands and teeth and fingers. He gives me a high that I can never reach with another man. P, I sit on top of the fucking rainbow when he’s inside of me because I’m confident the treasure trove at the end of the rainbow is mine for the taking. I can’t get that with anybody else.”
“Is that you Cleo the Virgin Mary?” Pat joked. But she knew I was serious. She knew me better than anybody else.
“He’s married, P. I can’t have him. I don’t want to expose Jaz to that kind of drama. She’s just a baby,” I sighed.
“Are you sure he’s married, C?” She asked looking at me seriously.
“What do you mean?”
“You guys should probably talk. It’s not my place to tell you anything. He owes you that.” She said cryptically.
“I just feel like I don’t want to know. I’m scared of knowing, plus all these feelings are flooding me again, P. It was good to be with him, but I can’t allow him to hurt my baby.”
“You guys need to talk. That’s all I have to say.” She held up her hands to signal the end of that discussion. “Anyway, our baby turns seven next month! I wonder what theme she wants for her party this year?” Pat started going off about Jazmine’s birthday party while my emotions, heart and body were in turmoil.
Jaz spent about a week in the hospital and Sean and I spent most days and nights at the hospital with her. I was working remotely but I still didn’t know what the deal was with Sean. He certainly did keep his promise to ‘live inside me’, despite my weak protests. He seized every opportunity when we went home to shower and change to jack me up against a wall or in a corner or over a table, or just about any surface available. There was no chance for us to talk as his tongue was always otherwise occupied on some part of my body. Jazmine was beside herself with happiness every time he was around. He was her second human toy next to Pat. He sang to her, read her stories and rocked her to sleep in his arms. I was more than a little jealous, she was my baby dammit!
“Mommy, guess what? Daddy’s a doctor!” She said to me excitedly as her brown eyes sparkled.
I had just walked back into her room having left to find some privacy to have a phone meeting with a client and Sean was in his usual spot by her bedside. I assumed he was telling her about himself.
“Is he? I did not not know that!” The sarcasm was directed at Sean. He had made no attempt to talk to me or offer an explanation for what happened. I think I was partly to be blamed because I allowed myself to bask in his touch and him being here and Jazmine’s joy that I think I was afraid of really knowing.
“Yea, he’s a psychi..something,” she said scrunching her brows trying to remember what her father told her about his job. “He helps people,” she announced proudly. Sean smiled looking at her as she sat crossed legged in the hospital bed. She only had one iv line connected to her, everything else was gone. Her face had regained it’s color and her eyes their brightness. She could now eat solid foods so it was almost time for her to go home.
“Baby, what would you like for lunch today?” I asked.
“You, spread wide on a pile of roses,” Sean responded, smiling suggestively his teeth flashing white and even, knowing full well I wasn’t talking to him. Heat flushed my body from my head to my toes. I hoped to God Jazmine didn’t understand or pick up on any of that. Luckily for me she was distracted by a book he gave her and didn’t pick up on the innuendo.
“May I have some mashed potatoes please, mommy?” She asked her focus still on the characters of the book. I gave Sean a scathing look and then responded to Jaz, “Sure thing baby. I’ll go get it now.”
Sean was not the least bit perturbed and continued to smile at me and immediately I remembered him dining between my legs on the dining room table at my house. He didn’t give me a chance to drop my handbag. He was on me the moment we walked into the house. Lifting me effortlessly and spreading me like a feast for his pleasure on the dining room table. My pussy jumped at the memory of his tongue lapping my juices as I came like a overflowing dam.
“How about some strawberry milk with that?” I asked her.
“Yay!” She cheered finally looking up at me. I smiled at her.
As I walked out of her room and headed for the canteen I was troubled that Jaz and Sean were getting way too close for my comfort. I remembered when he disappeared and what it did to me. For years I tried to get over it, I don’t know if my heart fully forgave him, but my body was a world class betrayer. We really needed to have a serious conversation. It was obvious I couldn’t keep him away from Jazmine but I still needed to protect her, she was just a baby. I was so caught in my own thoughts that I didn’t notice the well dressed lady clothed in a pink and black form fitting dress hugging her curvy Latino body staring at me. We almost bumped into each other but I caught myself just in time. “Sorry,” I muttered to her and kept walking.
I bought Jaz’s lunch as quickly as I could and went back to her room before my next afternoon teleconference meeting. Having these meeting in a hospital was not easy but I couldn’t leave my baby and my clients’ mergers were urgent.
I heard a strange accent and voice before I entered Jazmine’s room. I thought I was lost in thought and wondered to the wrong room but I double checked the number and I was in the right place. I walked into the room and stilled as the Latino lady in the pink and black dress and Sean stood talking over Jazmine. At first I thought it was a new consultant giving a final evaluation on Jazmine before she could go home. Since the night of her surgery Sean had taken over dealing with the doctors and though I made sure I was present I allowed him the freedom of interfacing with the doctors directly.
It was the look on Jazmine’s face that made me recant my initial thought. “What’s going on here?” I asked puzzled. The question was directed at Sean because Jaz’s bright smile that I saw just minutes ago was replaced with a scowl, one very similar to the one her father was wearing. The Latino and Sean turned and looked at me as I walked fully into the room.
The Latino extended her hand and said,“Allow me to introduce myself, I’m Vanessa Miller, Dr. Miller’s wife…”
