With today being Fathers day, the day we celebrate those male hero’s in our life we might forget that there are many children and adults who have never know such hero’s, who may not even have a name of this male who contributed to their creation so today is a day the question is a question “Who’s my Dad?” many people ask not just today but every single day.To the mum’s and dad’s going it alone, you deserve some serious pats on the back but to those who choose to deny their children the right to know where they come from, well shame on you.I speak from experience, I had a male figure in my life who was not the male who contributed to my making and this has created years of questions, years of unknowns and years of embarrassment.Before anyone doing the role of mum and dad alone get annoyed with me, just think what life would be like if you never knew who created you? what would life be like wondering if the person passing you in the street may be related to you? or what about any medical concerns, someone who has no idea when they came from will never be able to answer questions asked about family health history.Yes I accept you may not like the person who helped create your children, but is this really enough for you to deny your children the right to know where they came from?I was the product of an affair that my mother had and I hold no anger towards her for cheating, I hold no ill feelings for the choices she made, she had her reasons but I do wish more than anything, that before she passed away she shared with me who it was she had the affair with because not knowing is not at all easy.The questions I ask are, was this man a family friend? Did he know about me? Did he have his own family? did they know about me? did he live close to where I grew up? did my mum tell him about me? so many questions that I will never get the answers to and these are the questions your children will ask if you do not let them know where they came from.It is actually embarrassing when you are sat in a Dr surgery and they ask about your family medical history and you always have to answer, that you do not know, then you get the look and the what? usually I ramble the details and then change the subject.I have lived a lifetime of uncertainty because my mother had an affair and made the choice to keep the consequence of this a secret.Maybe this man was a fabulous human but maybe he wasn’t. I have no idea.If you had an affair and made the choices my mum did then you really need to fess up.If you had a fumble with the village idiot and you are mortified that anyone would find out, well touch, deal with that shame and allow your child to know where they came from.Maybe you think the man who helped create your child, is not good enough for whatever reason but again you do not have the right to hold the details of who this person is from your children.Whatever the situation, your children deserve the right to know where they came from.Who’s my Dad? looks at life from my point of view as a person who has grown up and lived a life not having this answer.
