At times i feel these bones cracking inside, maybe i am a little too exhausted from being strong all the time,
between the chaos in my head and making sure that people around me are smiling i feel tired.
Sometimes i wonder how would it feel to be taken care of
like someone wrapping me with a blanket, and making hot mug of coffee on a winter night while i am still lost in my thoughts, someone who will tell me, things will okay, and i will make it through.
But when someone asks me that i am okay, i promptly say i am fine,
Maybe because deep down i am terrified, terrified of people leaving, terrified that i might not be enough,terrified that my insecurities might creep in,
terrified that if love hits me again, it would break this dam of hurt I hold and the pain might come oozing out, and i would drown the one with me, which the last thing i want.
That's why i don't fall for people, or even if i do, I don't tell them. I won't be able to take another carcass inside my soul..
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From @chuka