It was a lonely evening and I was walking along a fairly dark street. The enchanting street looked very familiar but I can't remember. I didn't know how I've come to this street or why. I am wearing a sari, dark blue in color, I see a blue silk bangle on my hand, and black kajal on my eyes.
No, there is no mirror to look around, but how do I know I can see myself? I don't like this particular color blue. Who knows why I went around wearing that blue sari?
There's something like fog which I can see the distance ahead, I don't know why, but I'm heading that way.
Is it a moonlight night or not!
I looked up at the sky. No, not a full moon, a half moon is visible at this time of night.
Isn't it strange?
A girl is walking forward alone on such a quiet street, without any thought. Her pace is completely aimless.
'The girl is definitely wandering around with some evil intention. There is such a thing as fear: I see this girl doesn't even have it.'
I'm laughing at myself. I'm not really scared: on the contrary, I find it amusing.
I entered that foggy place: after going a little way, I think I can see someone. The man's face is blurry, he's wearing a yellow Punjabi and a Kashmiri shawl. Suddenly, I feel like I'm not myself. I'm Rupa!
I recognized who the man was. A muffled voice came out of my mouth, "Hee-heemuuu!"
I looked at him in disbelief and he handed me several lotus flowers. How sweet the scent of those flowers was!
Suddenly, it started raining heavily. I looked up at the sky and saw big drops of rain soaking me. My saree was also getting wet. Any normal girl would have been angry. I feel good, I am Rupa!
The rain has stopped. The sky is clear. I am following Himu. Where am I going, why am I going? I don't know. I came to the roof of a building, seventeen floors above.
Himu asked, 'Do you want to say something?'
I answered, 'No'.
I saw Himu standing on the railing: he looked back at me and said, 'Be well!'
He gave another terrible smile. My soul trembled!
My soul trembled at the sight of it. What a terrible and beautiful smile!
I stared at him with unwavering eyes. Himu jumped from the roof. I naturally slowly stood next to the railing. I dared to peek. His lifeless body was lying on the street.
I sat down on the roof floor. I looked at the kadam flowers. The smell was no longer pleasant. An unbearable sweet smell. Still I went there. It started raining again. I threw the flowers away!
I came home and lay down in that wet saree.
After a few days.
The tin door opened with a catch. It was not the ghost, but me. I carefully stepped on the mossy floor and sat down in a good spot. I was laughing a lot. I was afraid that I would not be able to exist in life after a while, and I was afraid of slipping on the moss.
It had rained a lot in the last few days. The sun had not appeared once. I was remembering all the failures in life one by one. I noticed that I was wearing the blue saree and bangles from that day.
Well, that's good. Thinking that it would not be a good idea to delay too much, I slowly walked towards the railing.
I stood up on the railing. I stretched out my arms. I thought about shouting something like 'Goodbye, world'? Isn't this a bit of a shame?
When there is so much drama in all aspects of life, why should I leave it at the time of farewell? I shouted out loud, 'I am leaving'. I said it very loudly. The echo was ringing in my ears.
I jumped. But I got stuck somewhere. I started falling again. My body writhed and I heard a thumping sound. My eyes were half-open and I could see all the darkness around me. Suddenly, a bright light caught my eyes badly. And I closed them immediately. When the light became bearable, I understood everything and it was clear to me. I jumped up. I am in my own room. I have torn the mosquito net and fallen out of bed and I was dreaming, what if?
I saw my younger brother come into my room with his eyes rolling and say, 'Oh, poor girl, how fast you sleep! I just jumped out of bed.'
I held my mother and cried. It wasn't because I was in pain, Himu jumped off the roof.
My mother asked, 'Hey, what happened? Why are you crying like a baby? Did you hurt more?'
I burst into tears and said, "Oh, Mom, Himu jumped off the roof!"
My father had stopped laughing for so long. Now, they laughed out loud. I was stunned. I was staring at them like an idiot. I realized what I was saying the next moment.
Addressing my mother, my father said, 'See the girl to the doctor. She's gone crazy.'
I wrote this much and closed the diary. I looked at the clock and saw that it was 12:07 night. I stood on the veranda. My eyes widened as I looked down. I saw a man walking. The man was none other than Himu! He was wearing a yellow Punjabi and a Kashmiri shawl.
He looked at me once. He gave me a smile. But today's smile was not beautiful, it was a bone-chilling, terrifying smile. I quickly came home and closed the balcony door. I took the pillow and went to my younger brother's room.
'Sleep with you? I'm afraid to be alone'
He looked away from the book and looked at me from head to toe and said, 'Did you put kajal on your eyes at this time of night?
Strange! When did I put kajal on? I don't remember. Forget about that. Sleep with you? He replied,
'I won't let a patient suffering from Himumania in my room. You go now. Thank you.'
I looked at him helplessly for a while and went to my room and lay down.
The End.
[Inspired by famous Bengali writer Humayun Ahmed and his creation of Himu character.]
