" Lord am really not sure how long i am able to hang on , but am gonna hang on to that ISCHUS power , that prevailing power. Lord when all things seem lost i can only trust You and hang on to You Lord and never let You go. Give me strength Lord "
This words was uttered in brokenness this past couple of days or even weeks. I know that in all things situations, Give Thanks, in all tribulations, Give Thanks. Always so easy to say but always so hard to put words into action.
This couple of day / weeks even till today has been the most toughest season that i have to go through. Friends that i once love had to be let go. Friendships that had memories whether good or bad had to be let go. Often times filled with so much of anger , tension, frustration, pain, tears and the list goes on. There was just never a positive outcome to it.
I came to a point one day that i nearly wanted to end my life not because of just being broken but because of not being able to pull through a single stretch. I felt i wasn't strong enough to get through the day and yet have to go through such drama everyday.
Then i realize that i have a calling that maybe one day all this will fade away and the only person and friend that i will have is Jesus. So i believe God wants to prepare my heart for what is to come in the future. That's when i realize its time to learn to rely on God and not man. Man can't satisfy, Man can't make you happy, Man can't bring the best out of you. Only Jesus can.
Time and time again , we tend to fight our own battles & struggles by our own strength. I came to accept that there is no way that can ever happen. I was rest assured that God sees the pain + brokenness i go through. By his strength only we are able to pull through.
I am still broken but i know i am pulling through not by my own might but by His power & strength.
I am writing this with tears flowing down not just because i am broken inside but because i am becoming so much more stronger in Him.
I am reminded of this verse.
Take joy in knowing that whatever u go through its only for a season to prepare you for whats ahead!
Cheers
