Some people would say that they were born with a book or a biro in hand, or that they were born with a story or poetry in their head. That wasn't the case for me. What I can say however, was that I was born with words. But I didn't know they were there, not until I was much older.
Anyone who's been attention to my profile, knows that writing is what I do. I love it. And yes, it a hobby.
How it all started.
My interests in books were limited to school works when I was growing up. In fact, I didn't know that you could have it any other way. But something happened when I was thirteen. A classmate came to school with a novel. I saw her reading it and asked to borrow. She obliged. That was how it began. The fire started to burn, and slowly turned into brilliant flames. I didn't know how much I was missing until then.
Writing didn't come until much later. Even before I started writing, I've always had a way with words. My English texts, both school and the ones I made myself were the ones I was most proud of. But it wasn't long before I discovered that creative writing is quite different and also difficult. I remember how much I struggled before I was able to write my first short story, and how ecstatic I was when one of my stories was accepted for publication.
Over the years, I've wanted validation. I wanted to be seen and accepted. I believed poetry wasn't for me. My writing suffered because I was struggling too much. But at some point I told myself that it's time to stop. I told myself to sit back and enjoy the words as they come and as I write them down. I don't have to conform or prove anything. This is what I love doing, why not do it for myself? And believe me me when I tell you, that was my moment of liberation. That was when I found out that I can actually enjoy writing because I was doing it for myself, not because I want a stranger to find it accepting.
One thing with pressure, whether it's the one other people are mounting on you, or the one you're giving yourself, is that it kills your joy. You begin to hate what you used to enjoy. For me, picking up a pen to write meant that I had to prove something to the world. It was crippling. But the moment you say to hell with it, you start breathing a different kind of air. Some would say that it's like an abusive relationship, and they aren't wrong.
Reading and writing is food to my soul. Especially writing. It has healed a lot of wounds for me over the years. Besides writing just because I love it, it has been my therapy through grief, love, happiness and of course anger. Writing takes everything without complaint. Sometimes I ask myself, what would I do if I wake up one day and realised that I can't write anymore? Okay, don't want to think about that.
Now, my writing has grown so much that when I watch a movie, listen to music or watch people's body language, I can create something from it. Two days ago, I wrote four poems while watching Dickinson season 3. There was no form, no beauty, no pressure. I put the words down as they came. I'm most alive when I write. I got to this point because I stopped searching and made it mine. I started loving the words and what they create as they come. I can hardly get enough of it.
I've had teachers along the way. Both intense and mild classes. In all that, the point remains the same; if you don't enjoy it, you might as well not do it at all. The best writings follow no rules. Do it for you first, then the world would appreciate it.
Do you love reading or writing? Why don't you tell me your experience. Better yet, write about it. See the original post here
