Living To Die, Dying To Live

Life is a laborious cycle full of empty promises. We're forever like children in the eyes of the creator, it is as if time itself is unable to reach that crucial emotional developmental stage. Trapped in an endless cycle of making the same sense from birth to death. Yet we desperately try to hide from death by swimming into superficial ideologies. We desire more time, yet we spend most of our time wasting time. We desire more love, yet we spend most of our lives wasting love. The the painful part, and my grief is that the ones that never spent time wasting time and and always spreading love from the little they get from the society, at the end becames the candle in the wind and victims of circumstance. My mum and dad was victim of circumstance. They were Couple that loved each others and was kind and nice to we the children but never lived long to see the benefit of their kindness. Meanwhile my cruel uncles and aunties lives and feast like there is no tomorrow.

My Description On Spirituality

A question came across my mind which made me to write on the this topic: “If we are living to die, why are we dying to live?” I thought deeply on it one early morning, before i could know , it became a vital question, probably The most important question of all. After a bit of contemplation and extremely entertaining brainstorming, an excellent answers started coming from past knowledge on life issues, I was inspired to write and share some of my own thoughts.

A Great Question

This is such a great question because it is deeply a personal question you could ever ask yourself and someone else.
If you eventually throw the question to a perfect stranger. The person’s answer to this the question will definitely reveal a number of things: in the person's believe, thoughts, present and the future, and the strange thing we call ‘spirituality,’ as I like to describe it as a personal approach to living that link the tricky concepts of life, death, and human existence.

Life Experience

Around February of this year I woke up one evening with a strange feeling that gave uprise to my sleeping disorder because I couldn’t stop myself from thinking about death. Even when i try to fall asleep, i often wake up in the middle of the night in a cold sweat because my mind would unavoidable wander to the certainty of death and trying to imagine the experience of death, which of course was a unavoidable exercise. This gave rise to anxiety, and the fact that it was going to happen no matter what, then filled me with despair. Every night this incredible fear would grip me as i imagined the deepest uncomprehending thoughts of fear. And then the next night same happens again, no matter how hard I tried to push the thought out of my mind it reflects and repeat.

This period lasted for weeks and weeks that ran into moths. I have no idea what triggered it. I believe it has to do with the fact that I was I was getting older, and perhaps an ‘adult’ who needed to start thinking about the rest of his life, on the other hand it may had something to do with my moving to new environment in a part of Delta State, i didn’t love to well because of it excessive quietness, meanwhile i didn’t know what my next step was, so i consumed by a constant uncertainty that unsettled, Also farness from friends and family was terrifying and awful, which lead me to intensely rewarding journey of personal discovery that followed it. My greatest notion was that everyone exists for a purpose. What is the purpose? That is a question for another analysis.

According to May Wang Some part of Asia say that when a child is born the child cries Koham-Koham which means Who am I? That is when the universe replies the child back Sohum. You are the same as I am. Hearing this i took a deep thought on it and it changed my point of view on life. Then i began to perceive that caring for one another also enjoy and make good use of the Universe to the fullest while it last may be the possibly reason for existence.
language

According to May Wang; if each individual is living ‘life’. So if all life is one, and you are a part of that one, you ARE that one, then why would you care about the death of the individual self, which You are a part of the universe, of life. And life will continue, so will you. What a beautiful thought.

Over the past years, my views on life, death, religion, and what have you has evolved significantly, but lately I’ve finally discovered my own personal ‘spirituality’, that continues to help me live my life in a way that makes me happy and fulfilling.