Just hours ago, I'd been out in a park strolling the snaky pathways bordered by tall grasses with smoky-eyed Tayo, the ebony-skinned beauty whom I've fallen for lately, leaving behind shoeprints on the sticky brown soil just like you and I had all those times from years before, on the earth of that Park that only reminds me of you, of kisses shared under the rain of the tiny yellow leaves of moringa trees which floated like memories of you now do, of bodies buried into the other just like our feet were in nature's green carpet .
Just hours ago, I'd clutched on to Tayo's palm sequel to whispers and utters of sweet somethings and nothings whilst we traded stares just like us from years aback, unafraid to show the flames burning in those dilated pupils of mine circled by redness where whiteness would have been the norm from kissing my woman of years MJ, hours before.
"Your eyes," Tayo had begun when I leant for a kiss.
"What about them?"
"They are unusually red, very scary dear."
I had backed out, not vexed, but in light of the reality the familiar twitching of my lips translated words had failed me. I would find myself turn my back on Tayo, taking slow tentative steps away from her, her eyes glued to the purple of my top probably, whilst mine were abandoned on the horizon afront, on the orange of the sun seemingly setting into the earth, seen from between bamboo trees and tall flowers and houses canopied by the cloudiness of the sky which mirrored the sun's orangeness, until my body abandoned itself on the trunk of an old tree, our favourite tree from years before.
A while later an adorable little girl hopping about in careless abandon had infiltrated my body's lens, and would later penetrate the thoughts I was having about you and Tayo, and MJ as well - my other woman who's faithful enough to never deny me her soothing kisses. A smile would escape my lips on realizing Kid was after some butterfly she'd never catch anyway. It reminded me of you, of having to squeeze through rocks and swim oceans in search of you, the lover that would never be. The breeze had messed with her hair until it flew on her charming face, just like it had messed with the warmth in me that gave way to coldness of the body and soul. They seemed to have had a lot of fun together - Kid and Butterfly; yes, I could tell from the butterfly just hovering over her face in the stead of flying over her head into the open, weaving through her tender hands with each grasp she attempted.
My smile would give way to a frown moments later, when my eyes caught a really stunning lady call out in some good alto the name 'Mimi' - the little girl's name I learnt, a man of class resting his palms on the little of her back where it met her protruding behind. Was my frown from jealousy or the sheer fact that family painted a perfect picture of the little girl of our dreams those times we were lost in love, of you and I once in one love, in a union forever when we're no where together?
Then I felt it, Tayo's warm hand on my shoulder just like yours, and then her voice too, saying she was sorry for what she really didn't understand was no fault of hers.
"I'm not mad at you honey, I was just caught up admiring that couple," a finger pointed at Man with his arms wrapped around Kid, while Lady wrapped hers around his waist as they made for an imaginary car I was certain waited somewhere, most of my leftover fingers pointed at me in a message I understood to mean, "That could be you too if you stop being stupid soon enough."
And so I would end up springing to my feet locking bodies with smoky-eyed Tayo, the ebony-skinned beauty who smiles and smells just like you too, taking her supple lips in mine while her nose breathed fire on my cheeks. The nape of her neck and earlobes scented and tasted just like yours. Perhaps Tayo could be another you, well not until I let you out of my mind just like I'd let you walk out of my life without a fight. Maybe not holding you back proved to be my undoing, 'cause it would simply have been you walking away to watch if I loved hard enough to fight as hard as I claimed to love.
"You smoked today," Tayo had interrupted after a long kiss.
"Ermmm, yes, hours ago. And how did you know afterall?"
"Nothing to worry about. Ladies are the best detectives you know."
"If only you could detect the thoughts on the surface of my mind too," I'd retorted in my head, a moment before we had locked up a time more all lovey-dovey in kisses and embraces of lustful love.
In my eyes were glassiness from tears I held back, from a future I could see in the past I was escaping. I think Tayo saw it too, 'cause just minutes later she would go on to ask what I was fighting to chew on and swallow. How could I ever explain her lips tasted just like yours and left just you on my mind's surface to ponder on, and that my mind's eye saw just images of you?
"You make my world bright Sunshine," I would hear my voice echo into the darkness rather, " I don't mean to talk you into loving me, but if you open up to me Tayo, I'll be glad to take you where you belong amongst the stars."
That wasn't expected, I'd felt her arms wrap around my shoulders whilst we locked eyes fiery from love reborn, ready to write a fresh story from the end of another story gone wrong.
In the end I would realize that could be me too years later with Lady and Kid living the life of my dreams, with Tayo now or whoever else later and not you from before , only if I stopped being stupid and move on. In the end it would be me realizing one didn't need just a particular train to get to the station, just like one didn't need just a lover-gone-wrong to stay happy.
"We should mark this great day with a promise you wouldn't smoke no more," I'd heard Tayo chortle just like you once had from years aback.
And so it did hit me I was in for the same cycle of falling in love sooner and tearing apart later no thanks to differences that wouldn't go away, 'cause like Tayo now and you before her, MJ has been my best and most loyal woman in times where succour's all I need from my lady. But then I thought it wise telling you this story of little glory, to write you this mail even though you're a mile or so away, despite the weirdness of this smile of mine that goes stale from eating on thoughts of you, of words that have turned swords.
