A younger me from three, four years ago would have been very excited about this holiday. I would already have been chattering about it, arranging my luggage for a trip, calling up relatives to be sure they'd be turning up at our hometown to celebrate the holiday together. But right now, and as has been for only a while, I feel indifferent.
How that came to be? I have no idea. I guess it just grew on me. Or maybe it was growth. The first year, it seemed like one of those things that just happen. By the second and third year, everyone got worried. I was too, only a little but I soon got in sync and trust myself enough to know I can handle the changes. Well, here i am now.... trying.
I want to, I try to feel again all that palpable excitement but it eludes me. My calmness and unconcern makes me wonder how I got here. I like things a little as they are, but I believe also that they shouldn't be so always. That one exercise should never have metamorphosed into a habit, considering this is the one time in the year that we(the larger family) get to spend time all-together.
And now to my wish; unlike every other as this in the part four years, when I cared little for what the season meant and wanted to celebrate in solitude, this year, as I've mentioned in past times, I want to do things differently.
Pinpointing exactly what I would wish is difficult. Maybe because I don't make wishes nor think about that word. But suiting the season and all I would want, wishing for a stirring of the Christmas season in my being would have been it but no, that might take a little time to get over.
The holiday is fast approaching. For cooperate organization workers, it begins by the weekend, for persons like myself, it already has begun. And from Thursday, I should be having my people over. I want to be prepared and all. It's been so long since enjoyed the Christmas holiday. Every memory on it was from long ago. This has little to do with money but then...
And so, I wish I had just enough resources, especially financial, to make the days memorable. I'm yet to start putting anything in place(am only being lazy) and I don't feel all that adrenaline rush. There has to be enough to treat everyone to nice meals, fun games, an amazing experience, tick a few things off our bucket list and just make the time memorable.
I guess that's my wish there. Since it's one that can easily come true, I hope it does. But in the event that I don't get as much the resources as I would please, all the experience I look forward to still will happen in the means I can. So, it's safe to say that this wish will come true. And with the kind of people I would be spending the holiday with, there's no expecting less.
Thanks for gracing this post.
Greetings!
