Those fucking assholes actually called the cops on me. All I did was walk outside and politely ask them to tone down their stupid Easter egg hunt backyard extravaganza. Their kids were screaming so loud

Breaking news: Sharks have evolved and no one is safe on land from their vicious attacks. It appears that sharks now possess legs as well as lungs, and are fully functional predators both above and below

Deja vu. I’ve been here before, done this before. Tried to work up the courage to walk through those doors many times before. But couldn’t do it this time. I’ve only ever gone inside once, and that was

The woods were certainly magical today. I saw a unicorn, Mr. Plankton, and Mr. Hanky the Christmas Poo all hanging out together next to the trail. I used my magical powers to imprison all three of them

Two roads diverged in a yellow wood I took the one more traveled by And that has made all the similarity This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on

The chicken came first, obviously. And it was waaaaay premature. So embarrassing! That's probably the last time it'll ever hook up with that egg. This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS).

Blah blah blah, blah blah, nonsense content blah blah, et cetera. That’s a helluva good start to any sort of writing I’d say. Blah blah. Last night’s dreams were wild, btw. I’ll get to them eventually.

Q: What did the hammerhead shark say to the great white shark? A: Nothing, silly. Sharks can't talk. This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original version here on actifit.io

No dreams to report today. Not sure if that's good or bad. I spent most of the day in a fairly decent mood, likely because I wasn't hungover. If anyone at work ever asks me if I'm single, I'm going to

It feels like nothing really matters, but at the same time it also seems like there really isn't anything that matters. This report was published via Actifit app (Android | iOS). Check out the original

My brain really hurts right now. I suppose that's just part of what I get for being alive this long. Everything wears out eventually, and then we go back to the nothing we came from. I guess my brain is