Oh Lord, who is High, and Mighty.
We wish to thank you for this plentiful bounty of genitals you have bestowed upon us.
Verily, we are unworthy of this showering of dongs, shlongs and phalluses that you have
so generously rained onto our house of worship.
Incessantly.
For weeks.
We are forever in your debt, O, Exalted One.
And, far be it from us to complain about this
incessant downpour of fuck rods that you so unabashedly
drown us in on a daily basis, mighty God, but, there is just this
little detail that may, perhaps, have gone misunderstood whilst
you believed we prayed for this deluge of dorks.
And it is this:
we wished for you to "clean us" of our sins.
Perhaps, O mighty Lord, had you forgotten to insert
your hearing aid whilst we prayed to be cleansed, but there it is.
If you could find it in your heart to halt this harrowing hail of
heat-seeking moisture missiles, your faithful would be forever in your debt.
Until then, keep up the good willy slinging.
